18

I remember days
When I was back confused like I was playin' charades
I thought bein' adult would mean that I'd be made
But I'm the same fuckin' loser who just ain't gettin' paid
Only difference is I'm wakin' up to learn my trade
Stupid college higher ups who make a living on preying
On all these young kids who have to be thrown right in the system
Sleep deprivation one of 'bout a million symptoms
You've been told that it's simple your entire damn life
They ain't preppin' you for shit, they just brandishing a knife
You just wanna meet a wife and support all of your kids
Who gotta do the same thing that both of his parents did
I hate to get preachy or come off a little mean
I just hate the thought of being just a cog in a machine
I can't be behind the scenes, wanna stand out and be seen
Just a couple things I think about while turning eighteen

I can see the fumes in the room
Fill up all the space, yeah it's 'bout to consume
Run away, run away, it is your doom
Run away, run away, it is your doom
I can see the fumes in the room
Fill up all the space, yeah it's 'bout to consume
Run away, run away, it is your doom
Run away, run away, it is your doom

Tornado warnings, that's a new thing
Paranoia settin' in, what else would it bring?
My consciousness already hanging by a string
Plus the people that I love throwin' the towel on the singing
All alone in the world, why am I so fucking clingy?
Told myself all this time that a town would be winning
But the seconds keep crawling and my hope keeps thinning
Get me off of this ride, take me back to the beginning
Tell me truthfully, will this be how I'm feelin' forever?
I ain't feelin' gouda, I'm so sick of chasin' the cheddar
Boredom and anxiety with only small bursts of pleasure
Getting off a call just means it feels like it's happened never
I'm still waiting for that day that I'm enriched by the treasure
Money goin' down a bit, that shit's applying the pressure
Time suppresses all the peaks and raises lows like compressor
Still studying the greats from cassettes on my dresser
I miss Alayah, I miss my cats
I would do anything like ever, to get them back
There's many reasons why I wanna, return in time
But Lili told me that in doing so, I won't be mine
The thing that worries me the most is how these things are gonna alter my course
Or maybe that's the beauty in it, shit, it comes from the source
If I thought my life was blessed by some all powerful force
Maybe my screams for solace wouldn't make me sound so hoarse
My uncle still ain't got a kidney, man he's tried and he's tried
And I got friends that every day they gettin' fried, so fried
I respect it though, the world's a place where few are on your side
Thought a couple times of joining to have something to confide
I'm goin' week long stretches where I'm not gettin' too clean
I'm busy trying to distract myself while glued to the screen
If I would try out clothes from June I wouldn't fit in my jeans
Just a couple things I think about while turning eighteen

I can see the fumes in the room
Fill up all the space, yeah it's 'bout to consume
Run away, run away, it is your doom
Run away, run away, it is your doom
I can see the fumes in the room
Fill up all the space, yeah it's 'bout to consume
Run away, run away, it is your doom
Run away, run away, it is your doom

Just wanna be satisfied, but will it happen, you think?
I'm askin' "with your burger, would you like to supersize your drink?"
My window could leave in a second, and be all gone in a blink
I wanna jump right through that shit, and through the stars I wanna sink
I'm really struggling, midlife crisis at 1 8
They tellin' me that it gets better, but I do not wanna wait
My mental state is slipping, falls in silence without any boom
Once a flower and in bloom, now adult stuck in doom

I can see the fumes in the room
Fill up all the space, yeah it's 'bout to consume
Run away, run away, it is your doom
Run away, run away, it is your doom
I can smell the threat right above me, it looms
My office is my comfort and also my tomb
Need to run away, run away, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom
Run away, run away