Like It Never Happened (feat. Yuri Lowenthal)

It's sort of like that feeling

The sheets tangled around your shin
The carpet beneath your other foot

You try to remember going to bed--but you can't
You've been sober for a while
When was that?
Why does a four-year-old memory
Precede one from two years ago?

Now, you feel pressure--and your breath
It's slowing down
This persistent thumping in your neck
Is this deja vu or a panic attack?
It was supposed to be a good day

Wait what?
Should You run?

No
Calm down and grab those cigarettes
There's probably a couple left
Oh. You smoked those already
You didn't even try to remember when you smoked those
You'll try again but--didn't you quit for like... 7 years?
What happened?

Is this what losing hope is?
You measure life in years now
What happened to your voice?
You can rant for so long
But you struggle to utter something meaningful
You used to be cool
What happened to you?
Hello?
You still in there?

Are you trying again?

I thought you'd stopped
You've spent years in a dark room
Trying to get away from something
Then you find you can still spend years in a dark room
Trying to achieve something
It's too dark, open the blinds
No

It sounds nice but things that once brought joy now take time
When you find the time again, it's too much work
And you need to get back to work

You're watching a movie of your own life in the mirror, but you can't touch it

You wake up

You feel those sheets tangled around your shin
How many years has it been?!
You don't know when you got here
Or what comes next but, you're in it
Did you reach your goal
Or did you get carried away reaching for one and fail?

And is that so bad?
Because, don't we need to fail to get better?

Sitting in a lifeless garden
You wonder how to stop and smell the roses
When you didn't water the plants and left the bed to decay
Now all around you--dirt
But here you are--tending the soil again
It's dark--and it's cold
And in the waning moonlight you notice something
Under the dead leaves you carefully rake away
This isn't a rose--but it's something
Something sprouting.
It's sort of like that feeling
Like it never happened