The Contortionist

Do I enjoy the sun upon my face?
Or do I just like how it looks when I'm in place?
Exit stage left, leave your character behind
But I don't know which is hers, and I don't know which is mine
I pretend that it's 1952
And when I come home that's all I gotta do
No one can see, and no one has to know
What I look like, what I'm doin in my room when I'm alone
Head inside, leave my costume at the door
And I don't have to be a woman anymore
Get into bed, turn off the light
And in the morning, my persona's where I left her last night

But now the audience follows me home
I'm performing even when I am alone
And there's a lonely kind of ridicule it brings
'Cause I don't want them to look, but when they don't it stings

Do I like reading classic literature?
Or do I just like that it makes me look mature?
Highlight a passage and post it online
So the audience knows that I've got a pretty mind
Can't be too different, can't be the same
Gotta carve out a brand and attach it to your name
And if you take it too seriously
Then they'll wish you would've done it more mysteriously
And now the lines are getting so blurred
And I gotta put my soul into words
So I can get a couple likes on Twitter
If you swear it all off, by god you're a quitter

And every night they follow me home
And I'm theirs before I am my own
And there's a lonely kind of emptiness it bears
'Cause everybody's looking, but no one really cares

This body is mine
Even when I wanna leave it behind
These thoughts are my own
And not all of them have to be known
I think and I feel
If I say it enough, I'll be real
I'm not an ideal
If I say it enough, I will heal