Kills Me

I wrote this for you 'cause calling ain't gon fix what's been wrong
We've been holding on for this for too long
I would say your name, but really that's a secret to some
Yeah, you got your alias pretty young
And isn't that a modern story?
Model house, this ain't a dormitory

You've been in this fuckin' scene since you were 16
It's gon' take more than a year to wipe the slate clean
But, woman, you'll always be my A-Team
I fuckin' love you, but we lied and cheated
Jean's house is still undefeated
Everybody all coked up and weeded
Yеah, you got whatever you needed
And lеt's be honest, those nights often repeated

Played the victim role just to give myself the out
Always keep our status in doubt
I got the Four Seasons suite
Four reasons to creep
Called her next morning like, "I must've blacked out"
We both know the truth, but we let each other slide
I hate to say it, but that ain't the way to play it, now I realize
We went too far, baby, can't get back

And it kills me to think about that
'Cause we were perfect
Down deep, but the surface was scratched
My soulmate now forever detached
And it cuts deeper knowing that your father just passed
And I wish I was the bed where you crashed
I wish I was the shoulder to cry 'cause you still on my mind
But there ain't no goin' back to the past
All I know is things will look up, keep your head held high
And your next man, I hope he your last

I can't believe that it had to be this way
I can't believe that it had to be this way, yeah
Yeah, I wanted you forever and a day (ooh-ooh)
But the time never really went our way, mmhm