In Passing

I haven't felt the same since you died
But still I say I'm doing fine
And maybe it's coincidental
Why do I feel so temperamental

I put on a brave face
And pretend I'm okay
I'm wearing a mask
But beneath I'm afraid
But under the pressure
I bend and I break

I think back and it feels like a dream
The room and the paintings
The boat on the stream

Your voice and your smile
On repeat in my brain
And I know you're now in a better place
At least you're no longer in pain

As weeks to turn months
The questions revealing
Did I know you enough
To justify how I'm feeling

I didn't know you that well
But it hurts now you're gone
Did I know you enough
To write your name in a song?

I didn't know you that well
But it hurts now you're gone
Did I know you enough
To write your name in a song?

Is it all just a front?
Of how I've taught myself
A way of dealing with grief
And death itself
And death itself

I think back and it feels like a dream
The room and the paintings
The boat on the stream

Your voice and your smile
On repeat in my brain
And I know you're now in a better place
At least you're no longer in pain

I wrote this for you
Even though you'll never see
I wish I could explain
Your impact on me
Mum, I love you
And I hope you're okay
I tried to find the words
But didn't know what to say

Mum, I love you
And I hope you're okay
I wish I could take all of the pain away