How To Be Sad

You always have the best intentions
You make a place for everything
Force it in, let there be room for the
Puzzle piece that doesn't fit
Thinking double, writing in triple
Trying to process the impossible task
And you talk to yourself like a second person
Like a friend you never quite liked enough

And you want the world to simply stop turning
Vertigo break, a chance for clean air
The faster it changes, the harder it gets
To remember who you are

Stuck in the patterns, the car automatic
Get where you're going without knowing how
Open your daydream, float out the window
Remember the spark a lifetime ago
Capture the essence but can't find the stopper
Maybe it's broken, maybe it's you
When each diagnosis dictates your journey
Internalize all and never forget

And you want to stop growing in gray, for the
Wrinkles to soften and roll back the time
Permission to rest is unacceptable
While the hourglass turns

All of these words are never sufficient, all the
Fragments collected are simply too small
They crumble through fingers, scatter like dust
The flames glow and grow stronger
They consume, the way they always do
When all that's left is the shell of you
Death in a bottle, a tempting solution
A get out of jail card that's not really free

And you can never let down your guard, or it hurts too much
Just like the rest of you as long as you're stuck
While you are choosing the path that you're taking
It never feels right

How to be sad: a guide for the amateur
Count every piece your heart breaks into
Hate it and shun it and call it by name
A portrait of a disappointment, and the
Scar is a talisman, it means it was real
Wallow and wander and wash it away
You can forgive if you never forget
Everyone leaves if you don't get there first