Sunlight On My Porch

I'm told that I should smile more, I know that I should
And if I didn't have a missing tooth, just know that I would
I know my eyes are alive, but often look at the ground
I'm scared and shook, they'd compare the books that we bound
I know it's stupid, it sounds, just like the musings of clowns
But every word within my music is like shooting off rounds
Releasing truth with the hounds, when they pounce on the prey
The prey see themselves doing battle with themselves every day
I've got plenty even with an empty page
I dance with my devils 'til we center in a empty stage
I'm sick of seeing grey, I'll do better
So if I gotta sing the blues, I think I'll choose new weather
I cannot measure up to standards that I've set,
I refuse to pay to live when we live to pay debt
But, it's a safe bet, brain chained to lame threats
I'll kill the snake that's been sent to drain my veins next

See my depression is a real thing, but so are the smiles
Since I been sober, I'm like "wow, I've been sober a while"
No more emotional child, (who) lets emotions get wild
No more fighting for the people that hang up when you dial
They say that life is a trial, some times it's light and then dark
Sometimes a knife is what it takes to bring life to our heart
So with this mic I will start
I spit the real shit with ease
And I hope y'all really feel it but I'm not here to please
I'm only curing disease, that is my purpose with these, bars
That leave trees carved with deep hearts that bleed
I believe I'm getting smarter, and learned to let go
It starts with a single step, take that single step slow
Don't linger in the hex, with anger on your breath
Cuz words can either heal or lead the herd to certain death
Release the hurt instead, keep the cold lessons close
Cuz with every blessing is a message that we loathe, so we go...

I cheated in my mind because I knew I didn't love
I spent too many years using women as my drug
I was dumb, co-dependent, but depending on the day
I would either pull people in or push em all away (say)
I try every motherfucking day to break the chains
This life is such a vicious cycle that I can't explain
Whose mechanics got abandoned in my brain
I need to reset or eject from the plane
It's a game, it's a shame that certain people vanish
Every lesson is a blessing even if it causes damage (so)
Grab a bandage, try to manage not to look at time
Clean or cook, read a book, see between the lines
I'm re-defined, let this preacher speak his mind
And if you choose not to listen turn your speaker to the side
I found a deeper pride, recognize truth
I'm confessing my aggression when I step into the booth, so I...

I'll keep fighting
I'll keep fighting for
Sun shine on my face
Sun light on my porch
I'll keep walking
I'll keep walking toward
A brighter day, the past ignored (my life restored)