Zira N Zaya

To my sister
I have to apologize to
I never filled your life with memories
Or really anything worth remembering

I was such a terrible brother
Too annoyed to help
When you were bored of the same things
The monotonies
Our modeled scenes
Had penalties
So ornery
I'm honestly
The worst version when you had me at your whim

As I begin to peel back the schema
Our roots more like emphysema
We seem to turn to Dad to become Hiroshima
As we cling to what we dream of well

That ain't no excuse
That ain't no excuse
That ain't no excuse

I could've dreamt a better situation for you
But I couldn't imagine bagging your childhood up throwing it away
Because misfortune got in the way
Because my addictions led the way
For the destruction we have today
Is music my price I'd pay
Is my music the price I'd pay

So eager to do what I feel I need to
I forget my cliche past
Our sister passed
And I practiced never letting go of that
She had a trachea that had to be suctioned every night
Well I woke up to her dead in our mother's arms
And I felt sickened thinking

I could've done something about it
I could've done I could've done
I could've done something about it
I could've done I could've done
I could've done something about it
I could've done
But remember
That ain't no excuse
That ain't no excuse
That ain't no excuse
That ain't that ain't
That ain't no excuse
That ain't no excuse
That ain't no excuse
That ain't
That ain't that ain't
That ain't no excuse

See I'm definitely I'm not what you needed
But you don't know any better
So it's hard for you to see it
But I didn't know the weather
To selfish to hold the umbrella
To scared to send a letter
Cause who knows what you'll remember
And who knows what they'll tell ya
But I know you should hate me
On a scale that's much broader
And from this I know I'd be a terrible father
And that's sad for me
Because I want a kid
But I just know the world would be better if I just didn't

I'm a bitter man
Not the bigger man
So cynical
So cynical
I'm the bitter man
Not the bigger man
So cynical
Woah
Yeah
I'm the bitter man
Not the better man
Oh
I'm the bitter man
Not the better man
Not the bigger man