The ballad of 'Dear John'

There once was a man
Who lived in a van
And one day he stopped watching TV
He drove to the coast to kill his last TV host
And ever since he just looked at the sea
And all the fish in the sea that came by
He gave them a name

And when a fisherman called the man John in a song
All the fish in the sea sang the same

Well John became famous among all the fish
In fact famous with all in the sea
Cause he was the man that could make one stand out
And provide them with Identity
Stories kept spreading his name and his fame
And soon the anonymous came

Cause they all had heard about the Man in the Van
And they now requested their name

The coast became crowded and people all shouted
As they tried to reach out for him
As soon John decided they were never invited
He said bye and went for a swim
And to all the bewildered people ashore
Still singing the song of Dear John

He said dear folks I'm sorry, my name isn't John
But the song you just sang is spot on

I'm your preacher, Your teacher, Your con

Oh dear John where do you come from
Oh dear John preacher or a con