Frustration

It's been now three fucking years since my live just went down right
Been now three fucking years since I'm trapped inside my mind
It's been so dark all these years, feel like I'm loosing all this hope
Just sit on sinking boat, feel so heavy I won't float
I wanna ease all this time but these nights won't let me be
Wanna feel what it's like to fly but this mind ain't just at ease
I just pray at that time I won't get to that corner of my thoughts
Where all just seems so lost, and I feel it's just all my fault
Been now one fucking year since I got my first attack
Wanna leave it now there but this anxiety just comes back
I try to beat it from pain what I feel outside not within
Tryna distract from where I've been honestly those chances are thin
I must have said it thousand time I wish I could express some more
I must have wasted hundred nights to just pray to see some hope
I kinda failing in my eyes don't believe in any luck
It feels better when it sucks, my heart is used to all these cuts
I kind of grew in the home didn't take my father taking stand
Feels like I grew all alone, kind of hate him for all that
I never wanted to be like him he never was my idol
But running from my duties like him, turning my own rival
I guess the rules I have learned doesn't work how this world runs
I kind of try to now solve so I could somehow get my turn
I never used to have that dice to keep rolling my own wheel
No matter how I try just stuck and low I feel

I just don't feel no more bad, I just don't feel now anything
I kind of dream to not be sad, guess that's the lowest I've been
I just keep twisting in my bed till I see daylight seeping in
I don't have answers for these guys who keeps on asking where I've been
Each day I push myself all out, my motive feels so blurred
Excitement lost I'm full of doubts, asking help just sounds absurd
I swear I'm concerned for my folks, how do I tell them it's no joke
They just feels I'm just playing in, I don't care in all this stress I soak
I wish to change all myself but I don't know what to do
They say you stay what you are cause that's the only truth
The right thing will now come to you be just the way you are
But I've been waiting too long guess I should go back to start
My patience seems to slip, peace have been gone for long
I kind of just now miss, myself all this along
I try to burn this bridge, so I could just move on
But never moved now further I keep strolling there and mourn



Credits
Writer(s): Rishabh Thakur
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

Link