Cocktail Party

At a party in West Lake Hills, nineteen seventy-one or two
We had a friend, a really good man but a first-rate sexist too
At the table he raised his glass and told us all about this girl he'd passed, he said:

"Hey boys! you should have seen these jugs today!
I mean the pair I saw on my way!
They wriggled and jiggled and bounced and jounced
Must've weighed a ton if they weighed an ounce
And they hooked me like a drug! You shoulda seen these jugs!"

Some nervous titters as he finished up; we started over with a clean breast
We thought we'd nipped that talk in the bud but the boob would not let it rest
After all, since he said he was hooked, he'd done a 180 for a closer look, and said:

"Hey boys! you should have seen these jugs today!
I mean the pair I saw on my way!
They wriggled and jiggled and bounced and jounced
Must've weighed a ton if they weighed an ounce
And they hooked me like a drug! You shoulda seen these jugs!"

And now all the men were laughing but the ladies all were still
Staring into middle distance, it was a valued social skill
Not to show that it bothered us (We're not the sort to make a fuss)
But ann would not leave it well alone
And she sang out in clarion tones:

Hey girls! Ya seen any good dicks today?
You know the sort that just swing and sway?
Be they dainty or veiny or whole or cut
Floppin' in their boxers with a pair of nuts
And if you could have your pick
Have you seen a good dick?

I said hey girls! Have you seen any good dicks at all?
It doesn't matter if they're big or small
It doesn't matter if they're thin or thick
Have you seen a good dick?
Have you seen a good dick?
Are there any good dicks at all?