Nineteen

I wanna die at nineteen
If I can't live one second more in illusions of grandeur
And caught in someone's smoke ring
I had an epiphany silently, think I despise living

I wanna die at nineteen
And I'll haunt this earth as a ghost stuck forever at nineteen years old
Young and still enticing
With my brow still unfurled, unattached to the world

These growing pains have resolve
It's hard to change and evolve
This problem's one I can't solve
I am oil, not water, and my pain is salt to dissolve

I wanna die at nineteen
My last moments spent floating and hoping I won't be waking
No friends at this party
But some girls shared their Hennessy with me, I never wanna leave

These growing pains have resolve
It's hard to change and evolve
This problem's one I can't solve
I am oil, not water, and my pain is salt to dissolve

I wanna capture this clarity in a capsule
To swallow with the scorning I'll be pouring in the morning
I wanna feel my body sinking, overtake my overthinking
Til it fizzles out into an endless nothing

I wanna die at nineteen
Leave my last life pages empty
And just watch the dust collecting
My hand cramps from writing
And to leave it to mystery feels so inviting

These growing pains have resolve
It's hard to change and evolve
This problem's one I can't solve
I am oil, not water, and my pain is salt to dissolve