Close my eyes

Everytime I close my eyes
I day dream
I dream
About
All the shit
I felt like
I couldn't be
Meditative
Positive thoughts
Keep my mind elevated
No time for negativity
I'm chasing greatness

Been hurt so much
Now
I don't feel pain
Feelings
Ain't even
Feeling
But the numbness
Keep me sane
Was raped
At a you age
Didn't know myself
So much
Love in my home
But I been
Searching
Everywhere else
Like nobody care
Tryna find love
In all the
Wrong places
Ppl do me dirty
Did me wrong
I ain't
Ever say shit
Been feeling so alone
Never felt like
I belong
Music therapeutic
Put my all
In every song
Drinking until
I can't focus
Just so I don't crash out
Tried to leave
The past
Behind
But it always
Come back around

Gave out all my love
Shit
Left me drained
Cried so much
No need
To feel the rain
Thought I
Ain't have nothing
To lose
But
I got everything
To gain
Niggas seen me
At my worse
And tried
To enhance the pain
Distant myself
When ppl
Try to
Tare me down
Cant tell me
My capabilities
When you
Ain't built me
From the ground
Spoke on what
You wouldn't do
To tell me
What I couldn't
Difference is
I'm really like that
You ain't have a chance
Been jumped
Off the porch
When you was
Reaching out ya hand
Ain't no other option
I gotta get these bands

Ain't wanna
Fuck with me
Bet
They fans
Now
I'm too
Turnt up
I can't
Turn down
Run it up like
100 meter dash now
People trying
To keep up
But I can't
Let em pass now
Worked too hard for this
I'm on yo ass now

Felt like
I could never
love again
Jordan was
My weakness
Lover my Bestfriend
Tried to
Hold on
To you
But we had
Stronger demons
No love lost
That ain't no secret
AB felt stupid
Thought I'd never leave him
Dre tried
Playin me like a sucka
Difference is
I won't never need him
Feel so cold
Heart so cold
Could ice myself out
Neck on froze
Tried to make me jealous
A smut
Can't
Make me mad
Only get
Upset
From all these paper cuts
From thumbing
Through this cash

Been up for days
I ain't get no sleep
Had to sacrifice
For this shit
But I'm
Go eat
So glad my sister
Got out them streets
Beauty and brains
Have real men weak
Be too paranoid
So I
Keep my heat
Bad dreams
Clutch on it
Like I'm
Fighting demons
In my sleep
I'm 5'3
Wit ah 45
God saved me
Like a cat
With 9 lives
Been in toxic shit
Can't cap
I seen
The signs
Tried to
Make a uturn
Took a round about
Wasted my time
Going
Round and round
I know some ppl
That'll sell that work
Pound for pound
Try some goofy shit
Shots going
Round and round
Say you my sneaky link
Then keep it sneaky
Start that pillow talking
Won't be
No linking
Westside
But I be
Everywhere
Been
A loner
Aint never care
When I need help
Nobody
Ever there
Been blessed
So I ain't
Trippin
Wiggled strings
To put
Myself
Into position
Never been
Into trends
I'm brand different
Fumbled
Yea I stumble
Key is to
Remain humble
Been through
So much
But I won't crumble