2019
It's been a year now
And things have gotten worse
My life is played on repeat
And my existence fucking hurts
But it's clear now
It's both a blessing and a curse
Because for every little defeat
I get a big creative burst
That I waste away
Spend every day
Half baked or half asleep
I drink and smoke
Not because it's fun
But because I need
To calm myself
When I go to bed
I just wanna sleep
But it rarely works
I stay up all night
I'm scared of my dreams
I'm waking up
Feel like I'm hallucinating
Sleeping problems mental
And the pain I feel excruciating
Couldn't sleep to save my life
My meds are not rejuvenating
Voices in my head
keep my up all night communicating
My brain feels abnormal
It floats around in misty fluids
Thinking humans are nocturnal
Talking to myself like "fuck I got work tomorrow"
But the other me is like "a power nap's enough for it all"
One more night like this and I will fall to pieces
For weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks my nose been bleeding
I'm getting weaker by the minute but they won't believe it
Talking to the doctors they like "Go to sleep then"
Fucking bitches watch me bleed then
I bet within the year I'm buried six feet deep and
It's been a year now
And things have gotten worse
My life is played on repeat
And my existence fucking hurts
But it's clear now
It's both a blessing and a curse
Because for every little defeat
I get a big creative burst
That I waste away
Spend every day
Half baked or half asleep
I drink and smoke
Not because it's fun
But because I need
To calm myself
When I go to bed
I just wanna sleep
But it rarely works
I stay up all night
I'm scared of my dreams
Living in a cloudiness that won't let go
My brain feels like a paste
I'm hearing old echoes
Stumbling I'm faced it's not the Prosecco
Vodka mixed with gin
And one ice cold red bull
Roll up a blunt or two on top of that
Or should I say a spliff
With lucky strike and candle wax
That shit was whack it made sick
I'm coughing up a lung I spit
My saliva's black filled with carcinogenic toxic shit
Another night that fades away in history
But the scars are left my habits slowly killing me
If I don't get there first cuz of my misery
So many nights I've thought to pop a pill in me
So many nights I've sat and thought I'm all alone
Hoping for just anyone to call my phone
Roll up another one and take a walk alone
Wondering if I will even get back home
It's been a year now
And things have gotten worse
My life is played on repeat
And my existence fucking hurts
But it's clear now
It's both a blessing and a curse
Because for every little defeat
I get a big creative burst
That I waste away
Spend every day
Half baked or half asleep
I drink and smoke
Not because it's fun
But because I need
To calm myself
When I go to bed
I just wanna sleep
But it rarely works
I stay up all night
I'm scared of my dreams
And things have gotten worse
My life is played on repeat
And my existence fucking hurts
But it's clear now
It's both a blessing and a curse
Because for every little defeat
I get a big creative burst
That I waste away
Spend every day
Half baked or half asleep
I drink and smoke
Not because it's fun
But because I need
To calm myself
When I go to bed
I just wanna sleep
But it rarely works
I stay up all night
I'm scared of my dreams
I'm waking up
Feel like I'm hallucinating
Sleeping problems mental
And the pain I feel excruciating
Couldn't sleep to save my life
My meds are not rejuvenating
Voices in my head
keep my up all night communicating
My brain feels abnormal
It floats around in misty fluids
Thinking humans are nocturnal
Talking to myself like "fuck I got work tomorrow"
But the other me is like "a power nap's enough for it all"
One more night like this and I will fall to pieces
For weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks my nose been bleeding
I'm getting weaker by the minute but they won't believe it
Talking to the doctors they like "Go to sleep then"
Fucking bitches watch me bleed then
I bet within the year I'm buried six feet deep and
It's been a year now
And things have gotten worse
My life is played on repeat
And my existence fucking hurts
But it's clear now
It's both a blessing and a curse
Because for every little defeat
I get a big creative burst
That I waste away
Spend every day
Half baked or half asleep
I drink and smoke
Not because it's fun
But because I need
To calm myself
When I go to bed
I just wanna sleep
But it rarely works
I stay up all night
I'm scared of my dreams
Living in a cloudiness that won't let go
My brain feels like a paste
I'm hearing old echoes
Stumbling I'm faced it's not the Prosecco
Vodka mixed with gin
And one ice cold red bull
Roll up a blunt or two on top of that
Or should I say a spliff
With lucky strike and candle wax
That shit was whack it made sick
I'm coughing up a lung I spit
My saliva's black filled with carcinogenic toxic shit
Another night that fades away in history
But the scars are left my habits slowly killing me
If I don't get there first cuz of my misery
So many nights I've thought to pop a pill in me
So many nights I've sat and thought I'm all alone
Hoping for just anyone to call my phone
Roll up another one and take a walk alone
Wondering if I will even get back home
It's been a year now
And things have gotten worse
My life is played on repeat
And my existence fucking hurts
But it's clear now
It's both a blessing and a curse
Because for every little defeat
I get a big creative burst
That I waste away
Spend every day
Half baked or half asleep
I drink and smoke
Not because it's fun
But because I need
To calm myself
When I go to bed
I just wanna sleep
But it rarely works
I stay up all night
I'm scared of my dreams
Credits
Writer(s): Alexander Germer
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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