Gee, Officer Krupke

Oh, look at yous
You feckless friggin' disappointments
Now give me one good reason I shouldn't throw the book at ya

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' upke
That gets us out of hand

Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks

Golly Moses, naturally we're punks!

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset
We never had the love that every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us, there is good!

There is good!

There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside, the worst of us is good

Oh, that's a touching good story
Let me tell it to the world!
Just tell it to the judge

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!

Right!

Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologically disturbed!

I'm disturbed!

We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed

Ye, ye hear ye
In the opinion on this court
The boy's depraved on account he ain't had a normal home
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

My father is a bastard
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

Yes!

Officer Krupke, you're really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically he's sick!

I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick
We are sick, sick, sick
Like we're sociologically sick!

In my professional opinion
What we've got here is a run-of-the-mill juvenile delinquent
And juvenile delinquency is a social disease
He's got a social disease?
Bring him to a social worker
Wait, can I catch it by catching him?

Dear kindly social worker
They say go earn a buck
Like be a soda jerker
Which means like be a schmuck
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Gloryosky, that's why I'm a jerk!

Eek!

Officer Krupke, you've done it again
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he's no good!

I'm no good!

We're no good, we're no good!
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!

The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's lazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growing
The trouble is he's grown

Krupke, we got troubles of our own!

Gee, Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease
Gee, Officer Krupke
What are we to do?

Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!