Spades and Spaces

And now I got the spades
So my grip is locked up
I'm digging into the spaces
Where my younger self messed up
Messed up

For so long now and a long time ago
I feel all along that there was something that I didn't know
But now I look at the things the world chooses to show
And the reactions in my brain when I look at the slow
Revolving of the sensations around me
How these inclinations of my senses then are birthed inside the
Epicentre of the two centres of my brain
How the two oceans of my inner and outside amalgamates

Into drops of rain streaking down my windowpanes
Of my blurry eyes as they seep bloody trails of pain
When I can no longer keep out the disturbed dissonance
The deepening gap in the impressive inner distance
Of what I believe to be the truth
And what the real truth decides to be
But the real story is always twisted by the sides in me
And further distorted by the lies
Inside of the parts of myself
That I havent dealt with
And delved deep enough to figure out

And it seems I care to see me
I need some more time to know the
Beginning
And flickering
Of oracle eyes seeing
Pasts that just seem to be
Parts of passive fleeing
Running towards me
With bloodlust
Whilst sharpening his axe

So let me get back to the personal attack
Some war inside with all these tactics
Used by myself's that don't even know me
If I saw myself would I even know me

But once I do I can stand on that ledge
And look at everything that I have alleged
To be the knowledge of the dark side
And then the light side
And how the two will then coincide
Side by side with my vibe
In the middle

Of the whole entire universe
Of every conversation with where I want to converse
With myself and dig a little deeper
Inwards spiral till I hit the centre

And now I got the spades
So my grip is locked up
I'm digging into the spaces
Where my younger self messed up
Messed up