All These Things That I've Not Done

I've never seen a werewolf
I've never met a nosferatu
I've never had a close encounter
Of the third kind
I've never seen a ghostly figure
Or listened to a banshee screaming
There's never been a strange reflection
In the bathroom mirror, that wasn't me

I've never had a visit from the greys in the dead of night
I never had an anal probe that I didn't ask for
I've never seen a zombie
Unless you count that time in Wetherspoons
I've never been possessed by a demon
Or been a witness to a rite of exorcism
And all the clowns, I've ever met
Have been nice, but still weird

I've never had an out of body experience
I've never seen any evidence of
Paranormal activity, explicitly
The physical phenomena associated with a
Poltergeist, which is nice
I've never found a rift in space or time
And I've tried, but I've failed
Spontaneous human combustion

All these things that I've not done
All these things that I've not done
All these things that I've not done
All these things that I've not done

I've never found a leprechaun
Or opened up a hidden door to a hidden land
I've never built a bonfire out of tyres and watched the
Black smoke rise into the sky
I've never been to Harlem
I've never been to Liverpool
I've travelled this old world all over
Over, over three times over

Well it seems like I've never been alive
Well it seems like I've never been alive
Well it seems like I've never been alive
Well it seems like I've never been alive