Finding My Way

I spent so many nights worried about what don't matter
Like if I let my fupa show will he still like me
If I think I look too good will them girls all try to fight me
Pressed about everything instead of trying to find me
Like the girl with purple hair in behind the lights
I let pain condone drunk texts and drunken nights
Outta mind cried behind doors out of sight
Had a bleeding heart worked through it in spite
I came real close to sipping that dirty sprite
Numb to it all wanted to get up out my life
I wailed to the Lord why so my strife
Why so much pain think I'm going insane
Fake scenarios keeps playing in my brain
If the people did me dirty then why do I feel shame
Please help me Abba I'm calling on your name
On the edge of the ledge tryna hear ya voice
What happened to free will it seems I have no choice
My soul is in demand but I'll leave it in ya hands
It ain't a janky deal cuz you're real this ain't a scam
I'll learn to trust in you to come through the great I am

Trying to find my way
I don't have the words to pray
I feel stuck in this headspace
Lord please help me heal this pain

Countless hours I spent living in dreams
Didn't want to wake up cuz life ain't what it seems
Ain't no pretty flowers there's no sunny beams
Just heaviness and darkness is what it brings
Facing daily giants am I David with the sling
God gifted me with voice but I can't sing
Cuz it makes me happy and life has been hard
How do people cope who ain't found God
I'm on the last rope don't want to loose hope
Feel stuck in this dirt I'm slipping in this mud
I pushed away those who tried to give me hugs
Ain't want nothing from me just wanted show me love
It's hard to break free when you refuse to believe
That the tools is in your hand to tell the storm I command
To get behind me
Trusting what I can't see
Gods grace hides me
His spirit lives inside me

Trying to find my way
I don't have the words to pray
I feel stuck in this headspace
Lord please help me heal this pain

Every step to the creator is for the best
And everything that happens to me is just a test
Gotta remember that the wages of sin is always death
So I'm pushing towards the mark until there is nothing left
If your heart is still pumping then that means it is your season
God don't make mistakes there's a reason why you're breathing
Perfectly imperfect but I'll never be a heathen
The Lords love and truth is what I'm always seeking
Cuz that's what's gon matter in the end when I'm reeking
Not how many times I went to church and paid the deacon
Religious fallacies got y'all out here tweaking
God is not amused by the likes and the views
Leave his name out of it when you doing it for you
Ok you speak the truth that don't mean you live it too
Gotta find my way, Gotta find my way
Find my way, Find my way

Trying to find my way
I don't have the words to pray
I feel stuck in this headspace
Lord please help me heal this pain