a wONKA Xmas Song

Xmas time comes once a year
A time of giving, love, and cheer, and family
And a big Xmas tree
But to a few around this time
The thoughts of liquor, shots, and wine, and lots of beer
Show the season's here

Was Xmas time not long ago
And on this night they had no show
So to the bar, headed wONKA bAR
As headed down Bryon did say
"Holy Moly there's a sleigh!"
They stopped and paused, 'cause there sat Santa Claus

As he sat his face sat deeply in his hands
And we all looked around and Chris motioned with his hand
"Come on!"

I said, "Santa why you look so sad? It's Xmas time what could be so bad?"
Then Kevin said "Dweeb-weeb-weeb-weeb-weeb"
Then Santa turned his head
He said "Xmas time's no longer fun, no smiles left, I think I'm done"
"The hell you are!"
"You're coming to the bar with us, now come on!"

So we held his hand and we led him down to Bub's, we said, "Six Guinness please!"
And we made him chug-a-lug

We went from bar to bar to bar to bar to bar to bar to bar to bar
And then another one
Yeah we were having fun
Then Santa said I love you guys with that glassy look upon his eyes
And his big red nose
And in his Santa clothes

Then we all joined in and we sang a Xmas song
And Santa sat and smiled because he felt like he belonged

Then Chris he jumped up on the bar, yelled "Merry Xmas!" and "COME ON!"
"Another Jager before I go", and then he spilt it on Claudio
Santa threw his hands in the air, he did his shot and fell off the chair
And then Bryon said, "Oh my god I think he's dead dude"

Then we helped him up on feet and he gave a wink
He looked at us and said, "Damn you guys can drink! Ho ho ho!"

Then Santa said he wanted to stay, "Don't want to get back on the sleigh
My wife is pissed I think, I've got more shots and beers to drink"
We said, "Santa you got a job to do. A lot of kids depend on you. Now go along"
And then he realized he was wrong
He said, "Thank you all for showing me this time
I won't forget you guys when it comes next Xmas time"

Then he said goodbye and he got all set, and he pushed his team up off Garnet
Him and his sleigh, and Rudolph let the way
Then Claudio said, "Hell that was fun"
And Kevin said, "Yeah I think I'm done"
And Chris laughed aloud, and tripped and fell passed out

And I heard him say as his sleigh was almost gone
"I'll be back next year. KEEP THE JAGER COLD! COME ON! HO HO HO HO!"

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way