Hopelessness

What is your inspiration?
What keeps you goin?
Latch onto that man
Latch onto that and run with it
(Raspo Beats)
We gotta stop wasting this life man
We ain't gonna get another one like this
Yeah maybe this ain't it
Maybe there's something that comes after
I believe that
but it ain't fuckin this man
It is not this
So make the most of this shit man
Get up
Do something about your situation

As I lie on the bed of hopelessness
I've been tryin my best to cope with this
I feel the frights in my head are closin in
Finally lost to the ones that hoped I'd win
No more highs nothin left I'm boge Again
And the cost is my my guts exploding then
Livin life on the edge of broken wish
Broke from this
so sick but I won't commit
and the demon on my shoulder musta told a fib
he be creepin even closer when I'm 'posed to get clean
How to let go of where I roamed from sixteen
amphetamine dreams but my soul was empty
Threw my revenue went down into this road it's deadly
And I never knew that all this shit was supposed to tempt me
Ghost of past deeds got me choked and gasping
and the rent is due in falling in this hole too fastly
Don't come at me like you gotta give it up because
I'm way beyond the point in which I wanna give a fuck
Seen some people get it together maybe their livin is better
it never mattered because I am not the one
And now I'm out here ridin with my guy that got a gun
stayin clear of anybody that would call me out
I made it here there ain't no way this shit will drop me now
but if a grave is where I'll be found then you would not be proud

Sittin in a cell with my head down bad
wishing I was well from the get I'm mad
like why it had to be this way
why I had to be a fuckin fiend just to be okay
Now I'm feelin dead can't wait that long
Gotta get up outta here gotta make that call
Smoked it I sniffed it I vaped that too
Now I gotta look at me like ain't that you
I look away fast can't take that view
Think of everything it took from me I hate that dude
Fuck them thoughts cuz you ain't that dude
in ya head rent free bills way past due
Sick of being sick and I was
lying to my mum and remember when
I told you bout my guy that got a gun?
He wasn't even fourty put the barrel to his dome
couple days after he called me and
he told me he was done
That's the last time I talked to my homie now he gone
I hope he found home ima hold him in my heart
And I know I didn't always do my part
but when I caught the felony we had to grow apart
my soul burned I was headed for the deepend
Then I learned that I didn't wanna relapse
I was sick of walkin on this weak path
made bail then I checked into rehab
Said yo it'll be just like a week 'for I'm out
It was three then I moved to a
three quarter house, losin everything that
I needed to walk free so
I went and took a seat in a meeting and got clean
Don't know if I can really believe in this God thing
but my brother I just needed a reason that's not me,
took a step then I opened my mind so
my soul it could shine now I'm no longer blind