Memories

Lem tell you a story
This girl man she hurt me bad
And
I hurt her too
Now I'm pissed at myself
Swear down this wasn't the plan
I wanna wipe your tears
And just hold you tight
But I can't
So I sit back and grab
What we had
The good and the bad
But I can't go back
I hope you understand

She was so damn fine
See I bucked her in town first time
Fam my mind
Was doin up twists and turns
From the very first time I said
Baby your mine
We had our first kiss
And I swear big man like me don't get butterflies
But I did
I know you did too can't lie
Seen it in your eyes

And
We just talked that day
You rated it 8
I said
What no way
Days just turned to weeks
I was doin up tings
You was doin up flicks and meets
Linked couple more times
Like once a week
Then it was like four at least
We'd be 2AM on the phone
These times I'd wait till you'd fall asleep

I didn't want it end it to end
So I said fuck it and I took that step
Despite of what people said
I know what I felt
With my heart I leapt
All the signs I clocked with my head
A part of me I didn't wanna accept
So I let shit slide
Like the fool that I am
Not once did want to just help

Can't lie it was tug of war
Mandem told me
I chose to ignore
Cah my heart was so far into you
Everything that I had was yours
Battling my mind n heart everyday
Cah the shit you said hit my core
See you gave me enough to just keep me there
And still had me begging for more

But you can't hide the truth
Truth is you played the love I had for you
I was so damm soft
And you walked all over man
But deep down man I knew
All the reassurance you gave now
Don't mean shit
So I just assume
You never was down for me since the start
So why say yes
I'm confused

Dumbo was your favourite toy
Favourite colour was black
Good choice
Surprised you with flowers one time
Man I still remember the sound of your voice
Cah you hated surprises
Your smile when I got you that ring fills the void
Inside of me
Cus I'm tired of trying you see
So I just avoid

All the memories we had
And I still got the pics on my phone
My bad
Slowly getting used to the fact that I'm done with you
But these times I hold back
And I don't know why
Cah I know my worth
And I know that I tried
Defended your name through it all
Cus I had your back
Now mines just stabbed

I'm never doing that again
Said you love me
For what ever that meant
I get high, waved, drunk off my arse
But I come home and feel it again
So I'm turning it off
I feel myself sinking back in the hole that I spent
So long before u found me
But I guess I gotta pay my rent

Looking back
Man I wish things were different
But I don't if I'm frank
Our relationship was built on nothing but lies and walls and masks
I never believed in love
But I loved you though
Swear down man that's facts.
Our story is done
For whatever it's worth
I really tried man just ask

So this goodbye
But thank you though
Cah you opened my eyes
I gave you so much I left none for myself
What did I expect
Man that's life
Red flags
Half truths and lies
Silly jokes and blatant signs
But it's cool
Cus I got myself
Me and my broken smiles are done