Still Searching...

(For a while now...
I've been Searching For Serenity

(Ley Speaks)

And I know its a journey
But I'm still stuck like...)

How can I find peace?... Huh?
Giving everyone pieces of me
Don't care long as my nieces love me
But what's comfort if you're feeling ugly?
A lot on my plate, dont feed me though
Besides I don't know if Im even hungry
No appetite, should I catch a flight?
Maybe I just need to leave the country

Airplane mode or I throw my phone
Astral planes with the Holy Ghost
Ex love didnt want me home alone
Said shes scared I'll overd
Now n'again I wonder if she's over me
That's the ego taking over me (Mad)
I think she'd like the older me
Thats when shame tapped my shoulder like "Its over g"
I... I spend too much time in the past
While worrying about my future
I'm the victim and the shooter
But I've still got my sense of humour
So I'm the still that lit guy in the function
And it's not like I've been hearing rumours
But the problem is I make assumptions
Then wish I bit the bullet sooner
I didnt chews this life
So I'm swallowing my pride
And its hard to digest
First I open my mouth then Im covering my eyes
It's not easy to squeeze your heart in your art but I do and I make it poetic
So I ain't tryna force you to like what I'm on

Just respect it

It's so ironic
Struggled to come outta my shell but online I'll shell it
Open mics?
I could leave it all on the stage but to speak?
Pfft forget it
Now I get it
Looking back shit was pathetic
But I can't say I regret it
I just wanted credit
So everyone could look around that room like
"THATS they call him The Legend!"
Headline shows!
Can you see the growth?
I know!
I even open up to my boys
But I'm still stressed, because of who opened up for me
"Comparisons the thief of joy"
Yeah I know
I just gotta focus on me
Maybe then I wont feel inferior
Actually wait...
Maybe I should focus on them and soak up the whole experience

(This poet has an E.P. out called Metamorphosis, if you haven't...)

Ah, here we go again
I'm feeling delirious
But while my insides are doing up backflips (Anxiety)
I'm composed on the exterior (That's pride)
You know how hard it is to look confident without coming across imperious?
See I used to have dreams of a major success
To make everyone wish they treated me different
Now I dont wanna make em wish nuttin... Word
I just wish they'd take me serious
It's less about tryna sound cold
And more about giving them chills
Cause it's less about tryna move cold
And more sharing how you feel

Its kinda mad
I was on overdrive tryna press x
Til I found a means to express
Thats love, success and nuff sex
More life
Fuck death
I'm still grieving
Got lost ones that are still breathing
But I know shit could be a lot worse so now I'm minimising my own feelings
I
Just wanna be remembered for all the right reasons

And with my soul...
Leave a footprint wherever I go
It's either you leave someone feeling whole
Or by the time you leave, they're left with a hole
And right when I thought I was flawless
The earth opens up and swallows me whole (Rock bottom)
Consumed in piles of regret (Humbled)
But it's so tranquil after letting them go

Its like my G Reya said
"The truth aint always necessarily fact"
You didnt see 100 percent of me
It was probably like 70 max
Theres 30 percent that we hide cause'a
Look, you know this so lemme relax
I don't wanna be a people pleaser
I just want serenity back

What if someones out there telling people I'm crazy?
And just how much she hates me?
And its not like I been hearing rumours
But these kinda thoughts been bugging me lately

Too worried about how I'm perceived
For years I've battled this adversity
Man I couldn't even quit when I was carrying the weight of the universe at university

(No more comparisons from now)
So from now...
It's just me versus me
Sometimes maybe versatile
More time every verse is deep

From mental health to the 'Birds and the Bees'
Cause you all understand to a certain degree
How will I break it down to my child
If the apple of my eye fell far from the tree?

"Thirsting for women so I fed their ego
They wanted loving, not from me though
I was tryna be the knight in shining armour
They were holding out for a superhero"

Still wondering whos over me so...
Sometimes I wish I had no libido
Irony is, there's woman who want me and they deserve loving...
Not from me though
"But everyones a no-one to someone"

Might have sold dreams but theres no receipts though
I lock them out then I block the peephole
Got a strong shield like the blue Avenger
Huff. Puff and lose your temper
Metamorpho- uh. Its a new Leyenda

"Please welcome Ley Speaks to the stage!
Keep it going, keep it going til he gets here...)

Funny how it took a self discovery
For me to start questioning who my friends are
Luckily, the period I lost my way
Is about the same time that I found my pen
No more checking out in 'n out again
And Ley don't give a toss who's doubting him
Poured out my heart to a silent crowd
Thats the only time I'm the type to shout
Otherwise I thug it out
Like "calm thats just more shit to write about
I'm still searching"