Drowning

I stared death in the face at nine years old
This is that story finally told
Off of my chest, and then I'll let it go

Summer '06, it was my older sis
Me, Pops, and Mama
Pool party at my dad's boss's casa
Almost got picked off 'fore I got to blossom
Like, "Look at what not being cautious cost him"
I went down in to the shallow end
That's where you cower when you don't know how to swim
Never heard louder kids, shit, the sound of them
Was so powerful, you couldn't even hear a drowning kid
Floundering around in the deep end
But I could feel the ground with my feet, then got out for some reason
Mama saw me and said, "Go get your sister
We're 'bout to start eatin'"
Okay
Walked back over to the pool
Big sis tip-toeing near the deep end
Couldn't hear me calling her name
She had water in her eyes, couldn't see shit
Had to get back in the water
So I went to the shallow end to descend
Dragged my feet
Suddenly couldn't feel the damn floor underneath them
That's when a fat kid cannonballed
Sent me in a free spin
Mama sent me to go get my sister and hadn't seen me since
Meanwhile, I was in the deep end
Doing everything to keep breathin'
I would scream help, thinking somebody heard
But then I would keep sinkin'

I stared death in the face at nine years old
This is that story finally told
Off of my chest, and then I'll let it go

Lungs started filling with water, and I never learned to tread
Soon enough, I couldn't even get my little head
Enough above the water to scream, so I went quiet instead
I hit the bottom, looking up at the sky and the legs
And I was crying underwater, no one knew where I was
And I could feel the fucking water going through to my lungs
And I was thinking of the face of everyone who I love
And how I'd miss them, how they'd miss me, then I truly gave up
I started getting tunnel vision, then I closed my eyes
How the fuck is this how I'm supposed to die
Nine years old, had my whole damn life
Cut too short, and with no goodbye

The wall?
Is that... the wall?

Left shoulder hit the wall of the pool
Had a sticky texture to palm and then pull
Palm, pull, palm, pull
Lungs full of water, but my heart full of fuel
Reached up for the ledge, started to pull
Climbed out, wiping off the snot and the drool
Coughing up a lung, but I ended up fine
Crazy how life could've ended at nine