Conscious

It just eats at my conscious
But I know that it's nonsense
Sometimes
I look at life and wish that I could rewind it
Man I start to get the picture like I fucking designed it
Use to have a major passion for rapping
But here lately
It's been really hard for me to even want to go find it
See Ima be honest
I think I'm beyond it
Even better under pressure
Ima turn to a diamond
Guarantee that we grinding
Slowly we climbing
30 right around the corner
Got me nervous with timing
I been going through moods like seasons
My heart cold like I put it in a freezer
Everyone around me wondering the reason
But mentally it's like I'm going through a grievance
My own kin don't even wana see me
Probably hit me next time I'm on the TV
I got more than just some people that believe it
And that's the shit that make me never wana leave it
See I got homeboys closer than fam
My own brother ands sisters don't know who I am
It's the worlds out to get em
And I'm part of the plan
But there's a lot of shit that yal don't know that I understand
I mean
Why the fuck you put the blame on me
I had to leave it all behind to put the pain on ease
You only know me from what ya momma done put in a speech
If we could come to a conclusion
It would bring me some peace
I mean
I been raising one that ain't even mine
Blood don't make a difference either
You a man or you not
I done been through a lot
You gotta add to the plot
If I ain't trending number one then that don't mean that I flopped
Na the street life got you running circles
You won't make it out the hood unless you leaving in hearses
I let it all build up
Until I put it in verses
Fell in love with the game
Cause shit that's what I worship