How To Succeed In Mountport

But listen, uh, if you have any advice to succeed in Mountport
Oh sure, I've got a lot of advice on how to succeed in Mountport!
There's just a couple things you gotta know
If you wanna be a sort of a big deal around here (sure)

Step one, whenever you say, "Hi" to someone next door
Make sure you never, ever, seen 'em before
Because we don't say "Hi" to people that we know
To the people we've already met, we say, "Hi ho!"

Oh, so "Hi" to someone who's brand new
"Hi ho" if I already know you!
You've got it, that's rule number one!

Rule number two, the tuna fish here is beyond belief
You catch those tuna from a place right there
It's a little private little reef
It tastes real good, but don't eat too much
It'll make you throw right up
When it comes to tuna, a touch is enough

Oh, so "Hi" if you are brand new
"Hi ho" if I already know you!
And when it comes to tuna, just a touch is enough

Rule number three
Don't climb up that big old tree
A woman lives in there, and she is not okay!
Oh, but that tree looks so inviting
I know you're gonna wanna climb it
Don't you do it, don't you try it
Again, the woman is not okay! (Okay)

"Hi," but then "Hi ho"
And not like, not okay, there's something wrong with her
She's totally fine, she's just mean (got it)
Maybe evil! (Maybe evil?)
Don't talk to the woman in the tree
Good advice for me!