I Can't Say It
I married you in my dream last night
Now I can't tell if I want to do that in real life
I watch you live your life online from 2000 miles away
I never knew I could gain such clarity just by waking up one day
I can't tell you how a million questions plague my waking mind
I wouldn't want to make you consider leaving me behind
An untold yearning aches in my chest till I can hardly breathe
It traps my heart in its fist and gives it a forceful squeeze
You've found a home and a place to belong and it's not with me
And I'm still drifting in the bone chilling winter breeze
I don't even know now how to reach out a hand to you
Cause I've found self reliance and I don't wanna shatter that illusion
They say if you love something set it free if it comes back it's yours
But every time I think I'm ready to open the cage I lose my nerve
I swear up and down I'm not holding you anymore
But if I told you the truth I can't foresee you staying here
My friend of years imprisoned by my fragile fucking feelings for
You and everything that makes you who you are
I can't say it cause I'm already treading thin ice
If I could travel back in time I'd choose the day we saw each other last
I'd hold on just a little longer and not let go so fast
I'm not avoiding a word I just don't think it applies here
Or is it that I'm too much of a coward to let you hear
Me define the melting pot of conflicting thoughts I live with every day
But you probably don't think that much about me anyway
I know it's stupid to ruin a friendship over a fantasy world
Still my subconscious won't let me forget this has happened before
I could play you a Taylor Swift song or I could write one of my own
I think you'd let me down easier if I didn't pour my heart out in this one
Nine years and I'm just now connecting the dots
I guess you could call me oblivious, or just tell me to not
They say if you love something set it free if it comes back it's yours
But every time I think I'm ready to open the cage I lose my nerve
I swear up and down I'm not holding you anymore
But if I told you the truth I can't foresee you staying here
My friend of years imprisoned by my fragile fucking feelings for
You and everything that makes you who you are
I can't say it but you don't need me to
What is it that makes me want to spend every second I have with you and
Do I just miss my old friend or is there something else at play
If it slapped me in the face would I recognise it then
Or would I waste every breath insisting it's not what it seems
If I could put this all to rest I would but I fear I don't know how
I can't just dismiss every sign I get that says I'm lying to myself
I've done that every other time but something's different now
I want to believe this will go away on its own but I think it might not
I'm standing at a fork in the road wasting time
Dreaming of the path I shouldn't take
Nine years is a while to have known someone in a twenty two year life
But is transparency worth cutting short the time we have left
Not at all
Not for anything
They say if you love something set it free if it comes back it's yours
But every time I think I'm ready to open the cage I lose my nerve
I swear up and down I'm not holding you anymore
But if I said those words I can't foresee you staying here
My friend of years imprisoned by my fragile fucking feelings for
You and everything that makes you who you are
I can't say it cause I can't risk losing you for good
I can't say it but I guess you know by now what I mean
I can't say it for your sake and mine I'll give you instead this melody
Now I can't tell if I want to do that in real life
I watch you live your life online from 2000 miles away
I never knew I could gain such clarity just by waking up one day
I can't tell you how a million questions plague my waking mind
I wouldn't want to make you consider leaving me behind
An untold yearning aches in my chest till I can hardly breathe
It traps my heart in its fist and gives it a forceful squeeze
You've found a home and a place to belong and it's not with me
And I'm still drifting in the bone chilling winter breeze
I don't even know now how to reach out a hand to you
Cause I've found self reliance and I don't wanna shatter that illusion
They say if you love something set it free if it comes back it's yours
But every time I think I'm ready to open the cage I lose my nerve
I swear up and down I'm not holding you anymore
But if I told you the truth I can't foresee you staying here
My friend of years imprisoned by my fragile fucking feelings for
You and everything that makes you who you are
I can't say it cause I'm already treading thin ice
If I could travel back in time I'd choose the day we saw each other last
I'd hold on just a little longer and not let go so fast
I'm not avoiding a word I just don't think it applies here
Or is it that I'm too much of a coward to let you hear
Me define the melting pot of conflicting thoughts I live with every day
But you probably don't think that much about me anyway
I know it's stupid to ruin a friendship over a fantasy world
Still my subconscious won't let me forget this has happened before
I could play you a Taylor Swift song or I could write one of my own
I think you'd let me down easier if I didn't pour my heart out in this one
Nine years and I'm just now connecting the dots
I guess you could call me oblivious, or just tell me to not
They say if you love something set it free if it comes back it's yours
But every time I think I'm ready to open the cage I lose my nerve
I swear up and down I'm not holding you anymore
But if I told you the truth I can't foresee you staying here
My friend of years imprisoned by my fragile fucking feelings for
You and everything that makes you who you are
I can't say it but you don't need me to
What is it that makes me want to spend every second I have with you and
Do I just miss my old friend or is there something else at play
If it slapped me in the face would I recognise it then
Or would I waste every breath insisting it's not what it seems
If I could put this all to rest I would but I fear I don't know how
I can't just dismiss every sign I get that says I'm lying to myself
I've done that every other time but something's different now
I want to believe this will go away on its own but I think it might not
I'm standing at a fork in the road wasting time
Dreaming of the path I shouldn't take
Nine years is a while to have known someone in a twenty two year life
But is transparency worth cutting short the time we have left
Not at all
Not for anything
They say if you love something set it free if it comes back it's yours
But every time I think I'm ready to open the cage I lose my nerve
I swear up and down I'm not holding you anymore
But if I said those words I can't foresee you staying here
My friend of years imprisoned by my fragile fucking feelings for
You and everything that makes you who you are
I can't say it cause I can't risk losing you for good
I can't say it but I guess you know by now what I mean
I can't say it for your sake and mine I'll give you instead this melody
Credits
Writer(s): Peyton Mcfarlain
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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