Some Stories Are Too True to Tell

Some stories are too true to tell
Like how I wished your life was hell
Like how I couldn't forgive myself
When I threw my inner child down the well
Deep breath, let me release this, this thesis is a beast kid
No need for telekinesis, your silence is where the beef is
Been vegan for a while cuz I don't like killing babies or the earth
But it seems like being an American
Does all of that and much worse
It's hard to look in the mirror and search
What you'll find is fear and hurt
This year has been a blur, friends dying from xans and percs
But you're never lonely in Babylon
That's why I'm trying to travel on
You can't judge me your gavel's gone, up shit creek I paddle on
Poets are always complaining, rappers are always bragging
I sewed them both together and turned them into a dagger
And into my back I stabbed, I am judas, I am brutus
I'm a poem that was never written in the pen of Pablo Neruda
Pass me another plate of friends, I'm tired of making them
I didn't forget those memories I assassinated them

These stories are too true to tell
Like how you gave up on your health
Like how you pickled your liver with liquor
Pills and everything else
Some aren't afraid to die, they're afraid to live
They don't want any help, so all they do is give
You're too faded to cry, the sky's a gray abyss
I hope these words are felt
Are you living or existing? thriving or surviving
Quitting can be risky, when you're lying about trying
Lately you've been distant, your problems I can list them
Why are you wishing for the Sistine
When your paintbrush is nonexistent
Are you a fading phantom or an opium ghost
Lately I've been feeling like a has been at this podium of hope
I seem to always hang myself, my friend sold me the rope
You invited me to your pity party and told me to host
I'm a paradox that breathes, I'm a blinking contradiction
I was looking for the truth but now I'm sinking in fiction

Some stories are too true to tell
Like how I always lie to myself
Like how I treat rap like a therapist
And put my problems on the shelf
I never sold out a show I just sold out my soul
When I started working for a wage 15 years ago
I'm out here trying to pay dues
But what do you do when the dudes
You pay dues too despise and hate you
I'm depressed and eating grapefruit
The past is a dime store novel, a sink film, a bad mystery
When the karaoke bars all close
They'll forget about you, even history
Vultures circling around me, I'm screaming I'm not edible
Sharks circling me in the pool with agents who aren't credible
The hunt continues after the capture
The hunter becomes the hunted
Inside it all happened that's why your spirit is numb and stunted
I see chem trails writing in cursive, spelling out the end times
Shaky pen trail, I'm nervous but these words are enzymes
I'm trying to break reality's ligaments, grizzle, and tissue
Dear truth, I'm looking for you
I'm trying to find you, I miss you