The Ballad of Dr. Lobster - Remastered

Somewhere down in a peninsula
Comes a tale of many folk
Some tall some short, some genetic freaks
Some addicted to diet coke
In a secret room in Lobster labs
The Dr. creates a plan
To clone a human, a real being
Named Steve, a hairless man
The purpose of this trial
In genetic duplication
Was simply to test the stress on one
Through repeated mutilation
A thousand deaths to a thousand clones
Of just one tiny man
The Doctor's mind was all but shot
But still, his ground would stand

Meanwhile behind the innocent facade
Of a couple friendly dopes
The Tall man and not-as-tall man
Cling on to little hope
Of ever doing anything
That would benefit mankind
Except for making a couple of jokes
And eating some pork rinds
Fat and skinny, tall and taller
Dumb and not as dumb
One's loneliness of being girlfriendless
Did cause him to succumb
To the ways of genetic trickery
And made himself a pal
A combination of DNA
Amalgamated in hell

Sincho Galameany is the name
Of this poor wretched soul
A mix of Sinbad, Gallagher
Kevin Meany and Margaret Cho
Demented and devious
A savior to us all
A friend to George Lucas
And a friend to not-as-tall
Now, Robot Fonze is another case
something went totally wrong
The thumbs-up, the leather
The greasy hair, and never-mentioned bong
What's amiss we cannot tell
He seems sent from above
Simply he is a wonder
Robot Fonze is just pure love

There are others in this world of lobster
In just 4 here panels, you see
But I have to take a little break
I really have to pee

Now that I have come back
And my pants are free of soup
I must summarize this land of freaks
Who seem to hang in groups
Besides those few we talked about
There are also those we didn't
That bitchy Heather is one of them
She can't stand them when they're kidding
A couple of thugs here and there
And BY CRACKY, we're almost done
But Don Hasket, and Cecil do
And I think I'm forgetting one
Oh, who else but Satan
Yes, he himself, it comes as no surprise
Though from hell he looks better suited
For the Starship Enterprise
But that's ok, as I'm sure he does it fairly well
And on that note, this song is over
I'll see you all in hell