i promise i'm trying

I'm tryna fill the space wtih empty sighs and compromise
Its hard to know whats real when this is something I just fantesize
Blessed upon my pedastal I'm stareing with these tired eyes
I wish I didnt feel this pain and emptiness inside

But you dont need to worry, you dont need to understand
I been going thru it on my own I always had a plan
Me, myself and I we tried, oh so many times
But the guilt i feel is heavy, when I wanna take my life

I think about my friends, and the ones I left behind
The ones ill never know, and the ones I know will cry
The ones i never texted back cuz I had too much pride
My mom, my sister and my girl what they would feel inside

I'd never be a father and id never raise a kid
Wouldnt get to tell my son the things I wish my father did
Wouldnt get to tell my daughter she will always have my love
That she wont ever need a man, she'll always be enough