Side Effects

Take me in doses, who want the mostest
Now you're a feeling in my path, you're ghost-less
He be all over me feigning, he's broken
Looking internally, he's screaming, he's chokin'
Nobody lookin' for pain, betrayal, the lies
The hurt of a man, is hard to describe
Feel it in his touch, I can see it in his eyes
He's wild like I am, a hell of a ride
I'm wondering why, a mystery finds
Answer in prayer, his hopes in disguise
His depth like a lion, he stops as he stares
He's wondering why my soul I don't bare
I'm takin my time, my issue sublime
I wish I was lying, respect what is dying
Reveal through each line, the source of my crying
Seemingly gone I say bye he's online
Pushed away, cause I'm trying
Healthy habits like flying
Ungrounded on time I'm making my climb
You better beware, cause after the storm
I cruise through the air, winged bull, halo & horns
Side effects takin over my brain and my mind
My body is different, it rains thru the shine
Won't know it in real life, I hide it with pride
What God wants to show wear like a sword bestowed live
I sing like I chime like a tweet about life
This not ICQ, this ain't Instagram Live
This not just a poem, this not just a song
This my way of saying, I been here all along
I feel myself coming and release through what's wrong
Breathe into discomfort like your very first thong
The dresses got tighter, the jeans, the sarongs
I'm just glad I had a childhood
Even though parts of it were wrong

I know I'm standing still
But everything else is spinning
Tried to get answers in 24 hours
Don't know if God or devil winning
Got a pit in my stomach
It's where certainty used to be
Guess that's the greatest falsehood
Of livin' life, uncertainty

Wonder what I'd know, or what I don't
Went left and right, the truth it spoke
The truth it rang, the truth it called
Picked up the phone, like getting prank calls
Hung up the phone, the truth it screamed
The truth it cried, I blocked my eyes
I blocked it's number, I blocked it's vibe
It must have called 1000 times
Just like Adele it rang hello
I looked at the options and said now go
You got no place inside my life
I'm losing touch with reality it's fine
It's all okay, now you just wait
I got a plan, its working out great
Its working just right, its working on time
Its working on God not the devil's time
I got insurance policies in place
It's my philosophy, I'm always safe
I never played when it came to my mind
They doped me up, let me go online
They strapped me down, they left me drugged
Reality flipped, constantly unplugged
In truth, I just wanted to be unshackled
From the hurt where they show no love
I could explain should I share my pain
Returned to this realm found my soul in chains
Autonomy gone, liberty, freedom and name all lookin' insane
Tell me, can you see your own reflection
In an asylum with no mirrors to face
Is the truth written in scripture
Or do you factor in your fate