Finally a Light

There's a box in my old bedroom
Where all the letters live that you wrote to me
They are far from words of wisdom
But I can almost hear you speak when I read them
And maybe there's not quite a mound of lengthy letters
But it feels just like I found buried treasure

Finally a light
It's painted over life
Although to say goodbye was painful at the time
Memory lane remains so it's okay
Because I know that I can say hello every time I close my eyes
And what I see makes me appreciate the climb
Far from easy but today we couldn't be closer deep inside
And when I find myself praying back the time
It's like you not being here makes me make the most of mine

There's a box
Where the pain subsides, and your spirit survives
There's a box
Where the white flags fly, and keep your memory alive

Finally a light
It feels like I've been waiting most of my life
I can breathe
Now I know this weight won't be forever
My friend I smiled when I just read your letters

I was twenty-five when my father died
I tried to justify the time I spent yearning for a life
He couldn't provide me with by telling myself I wasn't worth the fight
But that night when I was told he won't be waking up
Something deep inside my soul was there to comfort me
Enough to see that he was always fighting a waging war within
A battle with addiction that he thought he could win
But he couldn't, he didn't, he isn't here to talk to
No longer on the living side of life for me to help him walk through
Now every time I go to unfold these lined pieces of paper
My fingers seem to prise the creases open before I have decided
Whether or not I'm even in the safest state of mind to be deciphering
The handwriting of my creator
I take a deep breath and count to ten
And brace myself for a meeting between me and
Some deep-seated feelings that I've been meaning to attend
An inner peace that I've been meaning to befriend
Maybe a means to an end but this does not mean the end
And as I'm reading a by-product of already shaky hands from a lager fueled evening
I'm reminded of a heart that's half the reason mine's beating
And sure there's two sides to the story
But I want to tell the one that's most important for me
Sometimes the kindest thing can be the hardest
But not to let your love be tarnished is the greatest thing he ever taught me

Finally a light
It feels like I've been waiting most of my life
I can breathe
Now I know this weight won't be forever
My friend I smile every time
I read your letters

It's like I'm breaking free and I'm taking you with me
Together were the seeds of an evergreen
You're resting in the place between the yang and yin
Right next to me, forever in my memory

There's a box in my old bedroom
Where all the letters live that you wrote to me