I Write All My Best Songs After Weddings

Why do I write all of my best songs after weddings
It seems maybe there's a common denominator I'm forgetting
Cuz whenever two of my friends wed, I wonder maybe next time could it be me
If I was a girl, could I just catch a bouquet? Would it really be that easy
So I pay extra attention when Beyonce's "Single Ladies" comes on
And I flirt with all the bridesmaids 'til the liquor is all gone
And when I go home
I'll write this song.

I'm sorry I do not know how to play guitar
I didn't know I'd need to to win your heart
And Wow! he's tall, like, what, six two
No, yeah, sure, I bet he's really funny, too
That's not really the point that I was trying to make
It's just when I get jealous, my insecurities overtake
The way I think about myself and other guys
Cuz if I look at the big picture I'd be forced to realize
That maybe height is not the only factor
And it's not just looks that women are after
Cuz he's tall and he's strong and he's witty and he's handsome
And he plays the guitar, and he's charming like Ted Danson
And I am not any of those things,
But it never really seems to bother me until I'm at some stupid wedding

So why do I write all of my best songs after weddings
It seems maybe there's a common denominator I'm forgetting
Cuz whenever two of my friends wed, I wonder maybe next time could it be me
If I was a girl, could I just catch a bouquet? Would it really be that easy
So I pay extra attention when Beyonce's "Single Ladies" comes on
And I flirt with all the bridesmaids 'til the liquor is all gone
And then I go home
On my own
Just like every time when the wedding is all done
I write my best songs after weddings
Cuz after weddings is when I feel most alone