Obsessive

Wake up early every mornin' just to feel the same vibes
Work on gettin' better but I'm never good at change, I
Haven't had a handshake since like April just to save lives
Love you all in person but it's harder on the Facetime
COVID got me trippin', got me back into my old mind
Not the isolation 'cause I'm vibin' with alone time
Honestly it's more my mental illness that's appearin'
And I'm scared but I remember that I dealt with this the whole time

Fifth grade, OCD hit me like a brick
I would give in to my mind, 'cause I was scared of bein' sick
Repeatin' everything but not a multiple of three
Because the only way I'd be okay is followin' the trick
So I gave in every time
Like I'm provin' that it works
And I'm provin' that I'm fine
'Til I'm pickin' up a book
And I couldn't read a line
I was stuck on every word
And it wasn't that I'm dumb
But it felt like I was cursed, okay?
So I had to get it fixed right?
Parents helped me out because they couldn't see their kid like this
Strugglin' with the simplest of tasks
To this day I'm havin' trouble tellin' people 'bout my past
Three or four therapists but none of them were therapeutic
Talkin' 'bout my problems while I'm feelin' like I'm hella stupid
Nobody could understand the reasons I was going through this
One day I blew up and then I swore that I would treat the illness

March 2020 and I'm on the up and up
My life is goin' well, I'm changin' Ls right into dubs
My future wife is doin' well, I'm president a couple clubs
My OCD is doin' well, I think I really got it done
I heard about a virus like a couple months ago
It seems to be approachin' us so now I'm goin' home
And damn was I confused by that but I was not alone
But my fear of bein' sick was creepin' back outta the dome
At first I didn't change
I never touch my hands to surfaces and touch them to my face
Because it fills me up with nervousness
But one day I escaped the simple place that I inhabited
And added in a couple extra habits that were damagin'
I wash my hands more often than I think I really should
And I don't wanna take a seat that someone else already took
But yes, in this environment
Encourage that, be fine with it
But when all this is over you'll go back but I could die with it
Right before I wrote this, washed my hands
And then I touched the bathroom doorknob on the way out
And I felt the need to wash again
I told myself I wouldn't seven times and so I didn't
And I opened up a Google Doc and then I wrote all this instead

Wake up early every mornin' just to feel the same vibes
Work on gettin' better but I'm never good at change, I
Haven't had a handshake since like April just to save lives
Love you all in person but it's harder on the Facetime
COVID got me trippin', got me back into my old mind
Not the isolation 'cause I'm vibin' with alone time
Honestly it's more my OCD that keeps appearin'
But I know that I'll get through it even if it takes a long time



Credits
Writer(s): Daniel Goodman
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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