Anxious, Until The End

I wish that I could die
Like winter wishes it could lie
I wish that I could just tear and break away
These thoughts are a prison
I lie here while they listen
But nobody knows all our secrets like 4 AM

Silly me
Imagining
This memory is on repeat
And it has your eyes
And then it strikes a pose
While it's dressed in a dead man's clothes
It's odd but I'll take it
If that's what it takes to get you to stay

You're asking
And I'm lying
Now you're choking
And I'm trying
But this canvas above us has never looked so much like nothing at all
I wake up
Or do I
Alone again, just like always
Sometimes I think that it might have been better
Might have been better
It might have been better

And then you strike a pose
Looking so elegant in a dead man's clothes
And slow as honey but twice as sweet
You turn and say these words to me
I would give it all just to be enough
But sometimes I think that it might have been better
If I had never come up for air
Then you disappear
You were never here
But you're right
Oh God, you're right
It might have been better
Might have been better
It might