Structure of a Song

I wish the structure of my life was like the structure of my songs
Zero white noise when im thinking about these thoughts
I would die for dead silence just for 3 minutes long
Play this game a hundred times if i could just press pause for a moment
Im always listening to music for some reassurance
I want to know somebody else is tossing and turning
Inside of their bed at 3 am spitefully hurting
The smaller urge to avenge the bigger the person

But whos to say that i got a lot of problems and i dont wanna say that
I guess we all got some shit that we dont want to admit to
But the ones who dont listen to us are really the issue
This shit is straight off the top
Its straight off the mental
Because i got tired of getting up to go and sharpen my pencil
Whats the point of writing my wrongs if i was never really wrong in the first place
I knew my right from wrongs since the first grade
And they are going to say the alternative rock will alter my fung shui
And that ill be sorry if i dont go take over the rap game
I just do it all because i like all kinds of genres
Like a pansexual women in her early thirties
I try to feed yall some facts
But you go ahead and bite my hand
I bet the rest of the world would hear me out
But they dont know who i am
As much as i wanna keep it that way
Its getting kind of hard to keep it that way
This the story of my life and im onto the next chapter but i dont really like this page
So flip back
To a much simpler time
When i had to be sneaky with watching nick at night
When my curfew depended upon those damn street lights
And i was just barely learning how i could fly a kite
Now im out here getting high as a kite
Trying to escape from my past life thinking about blowing my mind
And i dont got enough money to pay for all of my sins
So i hope that god lets me in on judgment day if i comply with the rights
Because im living in the last dispensation of our days
Its a hard pill to swallow and a hard truth to face
I dont wanna be remembered i just wanna make a change
And thats why im sitting in here with the music that i make
And i only speak truth in it
In my mind i swear to god that im losing it
I didnt mean to use that word in vein
But damnit i dont got hope in anything