Hack

My eyes in the eyes of Dorian Gray
Lies buried deep in my psyche
Carried the right keys
To succeed in a free world
Pearls of the orient
Remember growing up seeing TVs and magazines
Freaks and geeks from the far Far East
Nowadays the words that are ringing in my brain
They're insane
The way they change lanes
Early days fell astray
I was missing lessons half guessing
The blessings of an everyday hustle
Grunting off trouble
Just to wrestle with my schedule
Quitting, I stopped hunting
Degrees, like I was skipping
Disease, like I was dipping
I was kidding myself
Saying shit like I'm hard to sell
Praying sickness while my guard had fell
Playing tricks like I'm someone else
A victim of my own undoing
Done away, my mind unscrewing
Viewing life from my bed
I'm better off dead
Than being force fed
My own lies surrounding my forehead
Poor wreck set on playing rhymes like plain sages
No place to rest, my best pages
Crumpled and fumbled away
In a corner dozing off on my
Pile of drugs and wasted luck
When I wasn't busy crying over spilled guts
Feeling like I'm a hack

Would you define me by my eyes
Or would you define my by my smile
Pressure on my blind side
Giving me a choice
To be a celebrated man
Or a stagnated plan
I broke it, put a bullet in it
The smoke clears, and I'm pulling it
Closer to my demise

The world in the eyes of Dorian Gray
Putting up the facade
Of an achievement flawless
Fraudulent to say the least
Legitimacy of a marauder and a dreamer
Self-medicating came easy
To please my mind denigrating
Brain manipulating
Couldn't see the truth in honesty
All I saw was lies and hypocrisy
"Son, be better than them."
Crumbling under pressure
Stumbling with the lectures
Mama fettered me with
And I wonder why sometimes
I feel unqualified
To speak my mind
As if words were light
On a heavy blight
Who am I to be heard
These words unlearned and blurred
Better burn my thirst
Churn the ashes in the dirt
And them diamond mines
Ain't built from glamor and springtime
They're built from a clamor
Of crime and silenced cries
Composed of the same
As this undistinguished name
Placed on paper with an unextinguished flame
Nothing like my identity would have you believe
Relieving my post to unceremonious company
To where I always belonged
If it means I'll be scraping along
If it means that I'm a hack

Would you define me by my eyes
Or would you define my by my smile
Pressure on my blind side
Giving me a choice
To be a celebrated man
Or a stagnated plan
I broke it, put a bullet in it
The smoke clears, and I'm pulling it
Closer to my demise