State of Mind

Maybe now I'm
Starting to realise
What it should feel like
Maybe this was
The very first time
I let my feelings decide
Instead of shutting things out
And always thinking about
How to distract myself
And meet somebody else
To take up all of the space
In my head and replace
All of the thoughts about you
And what you might do

It took me two weeks
To feel for the first time
Right before I
Told everybody I'm fine
But it feels like
Waiting it out
And all I'm thinking about
Is that I never come home
When I'm all alone
And yet I'm trying to learn
That there's more to it
Than the way that I know
And what I thought I wanted

But I still got your toothbrush
On the sink
Smell your presence
When I drink
Way too much coffee
Cannot sleep
Avoid memories
So I keep
You out of my head
You in my head

I realised
I'm doing better than before
Cause all the itching stopped
Caused by feelings I ignored
And now I'm letting them out
That's why I'm thinking about
Having the time of my life
All by myself
And still I want you to know
Darling, please listen close
If you ever want to
I'd still be home for you

For then I'll have your toothbrush
On the sink
Smell your presence
When we drink
Way too much coffee
Cannot sleep
Making memories
And until then I keep
You out of my head
You in my head