Married in a Honky Tonk

I was takin' off my makeup 'bout to jump into bed
After bingin' all day on 'Say Yes to the Dress'
When that devil on my shoulder known as my best friend
Texted "we're all at The Cowboy get your butt down here Jen"
Against my better judgment I pulled myself together
In the bat of a lash it was Hey Bartender

Would you pour me a tequila soda and lime
That's when I heard a voice say "put it on mine"
Turned around and saw my knight in shinin' neon light
And after five rounds I'd found the love of my life
I blurted out "I like the sound of your last name"
He winked and said his wing man just got ordained

Cherry stem rings slurry I do's
Somethin' cold somethin' brewed somethin' Pabst Ribbon Blue
The band played "Here Comes the Bride"
With a party crowd singin' along
That's how I got married in a honky tonk

Ooh I do

I tipped that waitress who made my beer bucket bouquet
And ole Biscuit the bouncer who gave me away
No rice in sight but a lotta popcorn thrown
Maid of honor was a goner so we Ubered her home
The rest of it was just a blurry wedding bell bender
But the first kiss was pretty good from what I can remember

A toilet paper veil bar stool pews
Hopin' in sickness and in health includes hangovers too
We had our first dance to the band
Playing a Hank Williams cheatin' song
That's how I got married in a honky tonk

Ooh I do Ooh I do

Cherry stem rings slurry I do's
Somethin' cold somethin' brewed somethin' Pabst Ribbon Blue
A toilet paper veil bar stool pews
Hopin' in sickness and in health includes hangovers too

Cans tied to an F-150 limousine and we were honeymoongone
That's how I got married in a honky tonk
How I got married in a honky tonk

Ooh I do Ooh I do