Means to an End

Far from a place that I was stuck in my head
Where I laid up in my bed I dreaded
Every time I rolled back round there
It remind me of the way that I was living but dead
Had to pretend then again pimpin
I don't want to go back down there
Road where my life was a means to an end
Even deceiving my friends like I could
Never find my own path out there
It get brought up and I ball up in tears and
Now I'm here but for real man I swear this is
Every time I roll back round there

What like I ain't been through enough
You punks think I act tough
This trauma really scarred him
Infection to bad cuts
Remember I once wished I could
End it at once fat blunts
to the face snorting toxic waste
I was blinded by desire different broads to chase
I can't pinpoint the day in which I lost my ways
I was trotting through the trenches til my paws would break
Look at all this wretched wreckage then I pause and break stop
I don't play the victim I'm the one that did the hurtin but
I did it to myself just like I did to every person
This life is like a job I need a different way to work it cuz
For certain if I don't it's going to disintegrate my purpose
Turning cold
Ignorance is bliss but I still prefer to know
The sun's a sweet kiss but I still prefer the snow
Bless me with the courage and the will to learn and grow
So I can see some brighter days and stay fulfilled until I go

Far from a place that I was stuck in my head
Where I laid up in my bed I dreaded
Every time I rolled back round there
It remind me of the way that I was living but dead
Had to pretend then again pimpin
I don't want to go back down there
Road where my life was a means to an end
Even deceiving my friends like I could
Never find my own path out there
It get brought up and I ball up in tears and
Now I'm here but for real man I swear this is
Every time I roll back round there

Now I know that it was me
It didn't matter where I'd go I couldn't leave
So I opened up a notebook and my soul I'd let it bleed
It's the only escape from where every road I'm treading leads
I'm just one man who was deep in some bad stuff
I'm like a dust pan how I'm cleaning my past up
Couldn't take a leap of faith cause belief done taxed him
If home is in the heart I finally unpacked some
I've grown to do my part I wish I did it from the start
Wish it was different but we all wish we were different than we are
Caught up in evil I seen no calling out for no help
Grew up believing in me until I started doubting myself
Til it's time to say goodbye I'm fighting finding my cause
Said I'd find a way to fly writing rhymes on my palms
And if not I'll just be high until I die and I'm gone
In my mind it was wrong but to the sky and beyond until I'm

Far from a place that I was stuck in my head
Where I laid up in my bed I dreaded
Every time I rolled back round there
It remind me of the way that I was living but dead
Had to pretend then again pimpin
I don't want to go back down there
Road where my life was a means to an end
Even deceiving my friends like I could
Never find my own path out there
It get brought up and I ball up in tears and
Now I'm here but for real man I swear this is
Every time I roll back round there