Pumpkin Cowboy

Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy

He's a cowboy and a pumpkin
And he loves his cattle so
But there's no way he gets lumped in
With most cowboys you know
He's no outlaw, and he won't quick draw
For he despises violence
Take a fireside moon over your saloon
As he much prefers the silence
Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy
Well it ain't no bluff that life is tough
For a gourd out on the range
But for all the woes in the life he chose
He's never seemed to change
With a smile wide and a kerchief tied
Around his neck slash waist
And he's never riled when a cow runs wild
As he'll lasso them post haste

Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy

But one day when Pumpkin Cowboy was
Out tending to his steer
A frightened child came from town
With a message soft but clear
The townsfolk said that he'd end up dead
If he didn't heed their warning
For they heard that the Cowboy Cat
Would be there the next morning

Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy

It was well-known through the prairie
Cowboy Cat had ruined lives
And they said he was a devilish man
Who liked to play with knives
He'd steal your purse, and do much worse
If a hairball made him grouchy
If you summed up some the deeds he's done
With one word, it'd be ouchie
Ouchie! Ouchie!

Though he had heard tales while on the trails
Of the feline fiend reviled
Pumpkin Cowboy couldn't leave
For his cow was now with child
If they ran away, she'd have to stay
And she might not survive
So he waited by her side all night
For the scoundrel to arrive

Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy

Our hero hadn't realized
That he'd begun to doze
And his mind was awfully groggy
When he finally arose
He touched the ground and sadly found
The thing that he had feared
While he slept under the moonless night
His cow had disappeared

But a moo came from the nearby field
And the cry was harsh and chill
Cat Cowboy held our hero's cow
And he looked like he could kill
Pumpkin Cowboy spoke in hurried yells
As he pleaded with the Cat
He'd give him all his ranch and land
He'd let him take his hat
But the rascal took no compromise
No hat, nor ranch, nor plain
He said the thing he wanted most
Was just to inflict pain

And as Pumpkin Cowboy heard this
He ran at such a clip
That Cowboy Cat got startled
And the knife began to slip
And they crashed into each other
Cat and Pumpkin, Flesh and Blade
And the knife fell to the arid ground
And the scoundrel stood, then swayed

Cat Cowboy crumpled to the dirt
And Pumpkin kneeled beside
And cow stood vigil next to him
As Pumpkin Cowboy cried
He tipped his hat at Cowboy Cat
And stood without a sound
And when townfolk came to cheer his name
Our hero wasn't found

Some say he started wandering
For greener fields to roam
But he didn't bring his cattle
And his horse stayed there at home

The very next morn, the calf was born
The town's own pride and joy
And the folks will regale you with a Gourd-geous Tale
The tale of a Pumpkin Cowboy

Pumpkin Cowboy
Pumpkin Cowboy!