Old Me

Used to always go to mosques
Now I barely talk to god
I need guidance, I need lots
I need time to free my thoughts
Used to be the good kid
Now I feel like a hood kid
Smoking, driving, going out like no tomorrow type shit
Feeling like a cold creature
People leave I'm like by see ya
I don't care bout being alone
I jus care about being my own feature
'Cause I'm the only one who's got myself
Put these relationships on the shelf
If I feel like the love ain't going round
I ain't boutta stick w fakes who waste my time

Hey old me
You don't know what you'll go through
So don't hate me
You'll change you've got no clue

Looking back, I was innocent
Looking now, I feel imprisonment
I got this innate dislike for anyone
It ain't a debate it's worrisome
The past and the pain all made me numb from advances
Why do I stay alone though I'd like people to be in my zone
I need answers
But I'm thankful
For who stuck with me
Shout out to my cousin and uncle and sister
All for the company
Whenever I was low they were funding me
With happiness and good times
It's obvious I'd never leave behind
The memories I made with them when I was and wasn't fine

Life do be hitting different
Never thought I'd be in this position
From throwing ice to throwing rocks
I changed much of my dispositions
Sometimes I think that it's a blessing
To have gone through all that pain
To have gone through all that change
And from my view it wasn't all in vain
I was being cleansed when I was in the rain
But not all the water went through the drain
Some trauma stuck but why what's my blame
Or maybe I'm thinking about it wrong
They're just reminders that I was strong
I'm hoping the old me would understand
With all that happened, good and bad
He became who I am