My Meds

I take my meds in the morning
Then I put on some porn and
Hope the sun goes back down

I take my meds in the evening
Gave up searching for meaning
The stars don't guide me now

Tell me how I'm supposed to feel
Nothing ever seems real

Been a while since I've been in the deep end
Head above water, why can't I breathe yet?

I'm alive but I can't find a feeling
Tell me what's better, silence or screaming

I take my meds in my suitcase
So I can sleep at a friend's place
Never make it on my own

I take my meds cause I need to
Say to the mirror "how are you"
Just to feel less alone

Tell me how I'm supposed to feel
Nothing ever seems real

Been a while since I've been in the deep end
Head above water, why can't I breathe yet?

I'm alive but I can't find a feeling
Tell me what's better, silence or screaming

Never thought I would get so dependent
Let me know if you know where my head went

Anything just to feel something different
Who am I now when I'm not pretending?

I take my meds cause I need to
I do what I have to
I won't make it on my own