Granny on Rollerblades

Well, roll granny, roll, granny skate on by

Well, my Granny's got an old pair of roller blades
She got 'em long before I was born
They look so funky; they're from days gone by
So beat-up faded, retro, and worn

Roll, granny, roll granny skate on by
Look at my granny go
With pads on her knees and her elbows and wrists
So she doesn't have to go too slow

Granny, granny please be careful, yeah
Granny, granny please don't trip
Your bones ain't as young as they used to be
We wouldn't want you breakin' your hip

Roll, granny, roll granny skate on by
Look at my granny go
With pads on her knees and her elbows and wrists
So she doesn't have to go too slow

All the other grannies bakin' cookies all day
All the other grannies like to knit
My granny gets up on her roller blades
She says she isn't ever gonna quit

Roll, granny, roll granny skate on by
Look at my granny go
With pads on her knees and her elbows and wrists
So she doesn't have to go too slow

Those relics need to be in a museum, yeah
The plastic's stiff and crumbling like dirt
One day her boot blew up and her foot popped out
And she took a spill and shredded her shirt

Roll, granny, roll granny skate on by
Look at my granny go
With pads on her knees and her elbows and wrists
So she doesn't have to go too slow

Granny maybe you should heed the warning sign
Maybe stop behavin' so insane
"Hell, no! with this premium duct tape I got
I'll patch 'em up and make 'em right as rain."

Roll, granny, roll granny skate on by
Look at my granny go
With pads on her knees and her elbows and wrists
So she doesn't have to go too slow
So she doesn't have to go too slow