To My Future Wife

I hope your name is never on a t-shirt
That always seems to mean that you've got cancer
It's fine if you're more famous than me
I just don't ever wanna hear our church friends telling me
How strong you must be to go through it with a smile
"She's just such an example
It must be so hard for your kids"

I hope we don't spend decades making memories
Just for you to go and lose them once we're eighty
If we've come so far that I know you better
Than your parents ever did
And we've gone on fifteen thousand walks
And sang a million songs
Then don't you dare go and look at me like we've never met

I spent two dang decades without you, so
Please, God, don't make me do it again
I know it might be selfish
But part of me hopes when the day comes
That I'll go first, and
I'll be there waiting to hold the door
Just like the gentleman I should have been
And I'll say, "Sweetheart, I love you, thanks for waiting
We won't be alone ever again"

I wonder if I'll know you when we first meet
Were we lifelong friends, or did I see you once on the street?
I think a lot about what our first talk will be like
And what your face will look like when I first relapse
I'm sure you'll be forgiving, but part of me's terrified
That one day I'll hurt you worse than you've ever been inside

I hope one day I'll hear you say you feel safe around me
That you've never laughed so hard as the times when you're with me
That day's worth fighting for
Yeah, you're worth biding my time
Just to see you without your makeup
I hope that day is more than just a daydream

Buy our kids a telescope
Teach them the names of all the stars together
Driving down the interstate
At the top of our lungs we harmonize and philosophize
No matter the burden, we'll bear it
We've got a list of dreams that'll make it worth it
But for every day we get
I hope I'm not dreading the last

I spent two dang decades without you, so
Please, God, don't make me do it again
I know it might be selfish
But part of me hopes when the day comes
That I'll go first, and
I'll be there waiting to hold the door
Just like the gentleman I should have been
And I'll say, "Sweetheart, I love you, thanks for waiting
We won't be alone ever again"

But if you die and beat me to that door
Darling, I'll live just so I can see you again