losing your voice

There's a conch shell on my nightstand
It used to be a soft warm color
I could bring it to my ears and hear waves and shorebirds
Chirping in its little atmosphere
Like it was connected by a string
To a yucca on the coast where you had tethered your line
I could feel the sand in my hands slowly sifting through my fingers
And collecting on the floor like it was an hourglass
There's a conch shell on my nightstand
Its colors have been fading away
I bring it to my ears and hear nothing but white noise
Buzzing and silence on the telephone
Like the wire on my shell is cut
Footsteps in the sand soon to be erased by the wind
I would toss my beer glass into the ocean
Breaking waves and currents smoothing the shattered edges
And when it finally returns to shore you'll think
"That's a neat little piece of glass" and give it as a sentimental gift
Without knowing the context
I would scream at the sun and the clouds
For not being as warm as they were this summer
As if they had a choice
There's a conch shell on my nightstand
Nothing has changed except my perception
I wish I could still experience the soft warm color that it was

The worst part of everything
It's so bad
You couldn't respond to me
I know that I'm defenseless
I shouldn't be
Need to focus on what's in front of me
I'd rather be oblivious then broken
Are they sharks or are they dolphins

I just want to know
When did everything change, does it feel better when you let go
When did everything change, does it feel better when you let go
When you let go