Cheetos Found in Space

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Good morning, this is Janie
Oh hi, Janie? Mhmm. How are you doing today
I'm okay, what can I do for you
Where are you
In Texas, Plano. Oh in Plano, Texas

Mhm
You getting a lot of calls this morning yet
Yeah. Yeah
Kinda busy? Yeah. Okay
Um, let's see
Well I just had a couple of questions and
If you have time
I'd like to read you a little poem
Of course
Oh, awesome

Um, so I just ate, you know,
Like a large bag of Cheetos
I've gotta say they were mighty fine
Haha
I just ate this bag and it's kind of unusual

Cuz I'm feeling really good you know
These are Cheetos Puffs or the Crunchy or
Yeah, but... there's different kinds
Well there's a Puff, the Puffs are baked
and the Cheetos crunchy and fried
Oh, these are the fried kind
The Puffs must be better for you, huh
Yeah, they're a little baked
Yeah, they're a little baked
Do you like the puffs better
Yes, I do

Well I had these fried crunchy ones
I guess they're not quite as healthy
But I'm pretty happy
Okay
You know, I'm normally a little depressed
Have you heard from any
Like psychologists or psychiatrists
About any possible connection between like
Cheetos and feeling groovy
And less Depressed
Huh uh
Have Cheetos ever been along
On like a US space mission or you know
Like have they flown to the moon
Or in a space shuttle or anything
Let's see here, I don't think so
No, they didn't tell me
Would you be able to confirm or deny
That NASA on their recent mission to Mars
Discovered water and a colony
Of peacefully living uh Cheetos
Peacefully living uh Cheetos
Haha, no no, I don't think so
Well one other thing I've noticed
Since I was eating the cheetos was um
I've noticed um
I started eating some yesterday
As well, and then today
I've noticed a couple longer eyebrow hairs
Popping up here and there
Oh, it grows hairs?? Haha
Well um that's what I'm wondering
If there's been any test done
That could confirm a correlation between
Cheeto consumption and
Such a phenomenon as that
No, that's just uh... I have not heard that at all
You haven't? And you haven't experienced that
No. Hm mmm
You haven't had the longer eyebrow syndrome
Haha. The unibrow? No
Hahaha unibrow
Cheetos connected to
The unibrow phenomenon

You know, I know it's all about the fun
And the, you know the child like snacking
Good old fun and everything
But I just want to make sure
There's no possibility
Of overdosing or any serious injury
You know what I mean
No No, it's just uh cheesy stuff
You might get it on your fingers or something
Yeah yeah yeah cheese on the fingers exactly

Yeah, can I send you coupons in the mail
If that's okay
Two booklets that I have
Oh... mm, well not just yet, I wanna get to the poem first
Okay
Are there any um documented cases of people
Suffering from seizures or stroke or
Extreme flatulation or
Anything like that?
Well there can be if
They're allergic to something
Oh right right
That can happen if they're allergic
to something in the Cheetos
Or a Flaming Hot or something else
Ooh Ooh Ooh Flaming Hot
Flatulation
Peacefully living, uh Cheetos

So we'll get you started right here
I'll do a little poem for the uh Cheetos here

Crunch crunch
Oh Cheeto
Neon orange day-glo
Crunch crunch Cheeto
Cheesy cheesy powder delight
Pulverize-y cheesy cultured milk
Salt, enzymes, litter crimes
Disodium phosphate
Monosodium glutamate
I ate artificial flavor
Give me a rub you
I love you and I consume you
And I consume you
And you consume me and my time
Crunch destroy my mouth roof
Coated tongue and sticky finger
Yellow 6 goo, I love you
I love you Cheeto
Dangerously cheesy
Pleasey please Me
Dangerously cheesy dangerously cheesy
Dangerously cheesy
Cool cool cool