runaway

They got divorced when I was 1 or 2
I don't even know
What really happened what ya been through
What I was told could not be true
但从那一刻起
l learnt a word that's called "alone"
He got another family
She working hard to feed me
用尽全力填补我缺失的那个世界
感谢这一切 可多希望未经曾历这些
As a kid I really couldn't handle this shit
But who cared and who checked my weakness, bleakness
No witness who believed this
开始害怕回家的路 变的无助 孤独 痛苦
失去幸福 开始羡慕 他们有的 我失去的
Wanted to be hiding in my room
My mind was full of gloom, my mood was blue
I couldn't break it through, I couldn't break it through and make a move
被困在眼前这条充满荆棘的路
It's my childhood, but I feel good, being brave enough to face it

Runaway, runaway I couldn't run away, run away

Adolescence, I didn't know enough
Sense of direction a front, poker face was a bluff
Morals was something to construct
Swapping flies was not in my plan
But you gotta understand that its gotta be done
Over curious in my days, tried everything once
From drugs to schemes I thought I was tough
It was eat with the wolves or be preyed upon
Big bad wolf I just huffed and puffed
A broken spirit, incoherent lil kid
I lost a part of me when my parents split
Tryna find my way with friends I didn't get
Knew I wasn't the type to do some shady shit

Kids get lit for bullshit and blame me
Busters trynna blast me what a catastrophe
It's like blasphemy if you ask me
Had to learn to be tough
All my relationships was filled with lust
True love never came to it once, it was one time, two times, three times, bust

I've come a long way, ready for a new shift
I rode the wave and now I'm starting a new script
I hit the spliff instead of slittin my wrist
Killing old versions of myself, I flipped the switch
I just can't forget the shit I been thru
Wish I could forget, I suspect it was suspenseful.
Growing up I didn't know what I was, I crossed some lines I didn't know the cost
Getting caught changed my thoughts
Cut the rope, tie a knot, and let 'em free
Its the demons inside that I can't be
Even I got no regrets I hope my past ain't in front of me

Runaway, runaway I couldn't run away, run away

Pontificate and postulate who is real who is fake
My life was all I have, my rhymes, my pen my pad
Placated populous perturbed perpetually
See how I finesse P like the Lox homie
Born two months premature I wasn't suppose to make it
Sometimes wished it would be better if I died
Looking to the sky to ask God why, actin like it didn't phase me, shit
Inside it driving me crazy like that Shady line in his ode to Hailey
Melanin deprived got my eyes messed up
Viewed as a curse got my pops vexed up
Beat me on the regular but now I understand
His frustration in not being able to provide for his fam
Questioned the value of him as a man
Raising my own seeds let's me see it's more about wants and needs
Money the bottom line, better to have and not need
Said 'Wa gwan to the man dem and we formed a crew
Started off moving coke and would spit a verse or two
All we had back then was drugs and hiphop
And the money stacked up till this youth got shot
All that was a long time ago I now know the Hikma of a troubled birth
Ego so big like Atlas carrying the earth homie
Mans chat breeze about me but faggot go figure
I still more hoes than all ya hating ass niggaz
Plus I got a PhD from the world best University
Vocabulary as vast as the Huangpu River
I smoke good cigars and drink single malt liqueur
Not to mention my side hoes, my kids or my niggaz
Next few years should see about a million
Shit, I'd hate me too if I were you, I'm everything your gay ass wants to be
Went from not going to make it out
To the Monster Jordan Peterson been talking about