Fear and Loathing in Los Angeles

Cauldrons and golden dreams, mixing up a scheme
Bold enough, told the teachers not not to touch his things
Alchemy rhapsody, crass with the cookbook
Anarchist with the letter scarlet, and the room shook
Explosive chemistry, DMT or TNT
Ayahuasca with the white sage, might make me believe
More in a God, and his cosmic ways
More in a God, and the games he plays
Ultraviolet rays as I'm here with fear and loathing
Couldn't make his way to the sand in sheep's clothing
So the wolf exposed, as the hunter, the gonzo
Accosted by the doctor since my memory is gone

Growing up I never thought I'd be this way and so hated
Faded desert raider, see my pupils dilated
People I hated, I keep trying to forgive
Difficult because they treat me like a piece of shit
Even after years without real communication
Thought you'd maybe say hello or try to say you hate me
Instead I'm getting pressed by your friends and called creepy
Never gave the benefit of doubt, hated completely
Never gave a fuck about a schizoid hurt deeply
Even if the wounds were from you, and how you treat me
Told you I heard voices, you decided to erase me
You were irreplaceable, I'm easily disgraced, we
Lived a whole lifetime in my head, you never cared
Hurting me and ripped my heart to shreds, never cared
Even when I overdosed on meds, you never cared
Just say that you're scared and go on without a care

Staring at the crevice between past and the present
I literally hear you saying not to leave, your desperate
Only reason that I even try to stick around
Just tell me that its not the truth and let me fuck around
You can do the same, Ill act like you never came
Living this is lame, criminalistics insane
Dexter in the lab, like if we ever know fame
Then you drilled a hole in my heart so big I'll never say
A single word to you, even if you start the convo
Just another guy on your list of John Does
Your out of my frame of mind forever, like a camera
So imma treat you like a waste of time and mental stamina