Fifteen Items

Mowing the lawn in my new lover's old shirt,
I could pass for the pool boy, but I feel like a jerk.
And I don't know why I thought this would work,
But it sure isn't working, now is it, my friend?

'Cause homeboy's been dodging my calls for a week,
Guess he thinks I'm too stupid to read "read" receipts.
But being honest, hon, I'm kind of relieved
'Cause I'd rather do seppuku than spend Friday night in a sling.

Fifteen items or less.
Why's my whole life such a mess?
I think I've had enough.
Where's the express lane for breaking up?

Fifteen items or less.
Why's my whole life such a mess?
I think I've had enough.
Where's the express lane for breaking up?

Back on the dating scene, swinging like a pendulum between
Monosyllabic mumblers and slurred soliloquies.
Won't need a buzz feed quiz or horoscope to see
We've got less common ground than Foucault and Chomsky.

And when at last I find a match despite diminishing returns—
A real dark horse contender with a sense of the absurd—
He dawns a MAGA hat and John Galt T-shirt
And we both have to concede that this is never going to work.

Fifteen items or less.
Why's my whole life such a mess?
I think I've had enough.
Where's the express lane for breaking up?

Fifteen items or less.
Why's my whole life such a mess?
I think I've had enough.
Where's the express lane for breaking up?

Fifteen items or less.
Why's my whole life such a mess?
I think I've had enough.
Where's the express lane for breaking up?



Credits
Writer(s): Egemen Kesikli, Zachary L. Foster
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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