The Lights How They Find You

I've never felt a weight this heavy ever before
My best friend's coffin on my shoulder at 24
Blinded by the signs we all ignored
We all ignored

I'll check in on your mother from time to time
Sit round the kitchen table and pretend that we're fine
We're fine, I'm fine, I'm fine
Our grief aligns and redefines our lives

Now up in smoke we go
Floating away to the unknown
As we ascend, we pretend we might see you again at the end
At the end

I can count on one hand all the words that I meant
24 years of fake fucking sentiments
And I'm ashamed, I swear I can change
If it's not too late, if it's not too late

Now up in smoke we go
Floating away to the unknown
As we ascend we pretend we might see you again at the end
At the end

I guess I found my way
To say
I'm sorry that you couldn't stay
Any longer than you got to
And I'm sorry that you didn't want to
That night
The 5 of us came to say our goodbyes
We'll carry for the rest of our lives

I still collapse inside at words that sound anything like your name
I still collapse inside at worst that sound anything like your name
I still collapse inside at words that sound anything like your name
I still collapse inside at words that sound anything like your name

Now up in smoke we go
Floating away to the unknown
As we ascend we pretend we might see you again at the end
At the end

I guess I found my way
To say
I'm sorry that you couldn't stay
Any longer than you got to
And I'm sorry that you didn't want to